A: I see we’re doing something special.
B: What do you mean? I don’t want to do anything special.
A: Oh, well, it looks like we are. Can we talk about that?
B: Yes, let’s talk about it. I don’t know you that well, I like to do egalitarian generalized relationships, and I don’t want something special.
A: Ok, well–nonetheless, we’re doing something special. I guess we should stop.
B: I’m terrified of messing things up more. No, I don’t want to stop doing something special.
A: Oh, well–you said you didn’t want to do something special.
B: I actually want to do something special more than anything. But I’m independent and super scared. I have all this trauma.
A: Oh, well, then maybe we are not the best combination of needs. I’m specifically looking for something special or unspecial. Maybe we should just be unspecial to one another.
B: No, we can stay in a middle place indefinitely, figuring out what we’re doing over and over again, with lots of work.
A: Uh, that wasn’t really an option I offered.
B: We need to stay in a middle place. You will work very hard doing lots of feeling and language, while I try to figure out what the fuck I’m doing, as you feel pain and longing.
A: I’m not sure that’s such a good deal for me.
B: Here is a kind sentence and kind attention to entice you.
A: Hmm, I like that sentence and that attention.
B: Yes, the middle place is where we have to dwell.
A: Hmm, this looks like a bad idea. My friends are telling me so.
B: Let’s have long emotional conversations about how we’re not doing anything special. Then I can feel like a good person and praise myself for caring about how you feel.
A: Wow, that was a totally fucking exhausting conversation.
B: That was a great conversation.
A: Oh crap.
This is how my relationships with dudes go for modern times. Sorry about that.