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theory

what can get me off

What’s real is so different from what can get me off.   Sometimes what can get me off the best is Wrong.  Sometimes I want to masturbate imagining being fucked by someone inappropriate, like someone who was hurtful to me. It’s a no judgment zone–what can get me off is ok, whatever ideas I need.  It’s

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smut theory

thank you

“Thank you for getting me off, earlier,” I told my spouse, as he came to bed. “Sure, no problem!” he said, smiling. “I really needed that,” I said, hugging him and kissing him.  He accepts all my love. I heard you’re not supposed to thank people for sex, but what if I’m super-grateful?  That’s a

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theory

joker

“I never loved someone like that.  I never loved the joker.”  My spouse and I were lying in bed, and I was talking about the man I loved who came and went, the painful house guest.  Thinking of that small sound he made, the “uh, uh” in a rap song.  I was crying about what

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theory

eel

“Is eel a fish?” I asked my spouse. “Yes,” he said. “Oh, are you sure?” I asked.  “Seems different.” “Maybe you’re thinking of lampreys,” he said. I was thinking of nasty tube animals with toothy mouths.  Animals to dodge, for sure. “I could try one,” I said.  We were at all you can eat sushi,

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unsent letter

charming

Inviting vampires into the house is a bad idea, but they’re so damn charming, right?  And you didn’t know when you invited them in, of course.  The charming facilitates the harming.  We should do a fang-check at the door. This is hopefully the last unsent letter to someone charming. image credit: Jack of hearts, unchanged,

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Categories
smut theory

knee

“Maybe you should elevate your knee.  If you want to lie down for a while, I could help you enjoy that time.”  I smiled.  “I could increase the bloodflow to your organs!  Probably more so a different organ than your knee.  But your blood would be flowing to all the organs!” “Hmm!” my spouse said.

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unsent letter

dismissing the harmful

The days pass, and it’s still hard to believe that you’d come here and show me for sure that you’re not concerned about my well-being.  No big deal, to deceive and use me like a random stranger. I wouldn’t treat a stranger like that–I would treat no one like that.  Not a dog.  Not a

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smut theory

jillin

“Hey, guess what I did while you were gone?” I asked my spouse. “What?” he asked. “Masturbated,” I said. “Oh, cool,” my spouse said. “And I recorded it,” I said. “Wow!” he said. “Yeah!  What do you think of that?” “Sounds good!” he said. “I’d been wanting to for a long time.  You wanna hear

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Categories
theory

girlfriend

I have a good friend who’s been in love with a man for a long time.  She was trying to explain their relationship to me one time.  “Oh, he would have sex with me.  But I was never his girlfriend,” she said. There was bitterness in her voice.  She’d wanted to be his girlfriend–honored, treasured,

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Categories
smut theory

recording myself masturbating

I was lying in bed after a shower–it was a dark, rainy morning, and my spouse was out.  I was pleasurably clean and vaguely horny, so I decided to practice sexual self-care; the happy chemicals might help me.  I’d been thinking of recording myself masturbating for some time.  So I turned off the fan and

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