Categories
theory

PPE

I got some free PPE in preparation for going down on my spouse’s ass.  The deal is he might consent with a barrier.  So when he was out of town, I drove to the local HIV resources clinic and took from the free supplies in their lobby. Before that I’d called Planned Parenthood.  The lady

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theory

blood

If you have a problem with blood, please scroll along.  I’m not into blood as part of pain play in a kink sense.  When I’m at a sex party, I eye the blood play station skeptically and don’t engage. But I’ve been menstruating for 37 years, so I’m used to this wet red.  My spouse

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Categories
theory

in the ass

“Did she fuck you in the ass?” I asked. I was in bed with my friend.  Well, we cuddled for so many hours–it was our main activity.  We were in a hotel room just the two of us, cuddling like bunnies.  Do friends behave that way? “Yeah,” she replied. “Oh god,” I moaned, repulsed. I

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Categories
theory

the fool

Spirit keeps telling me to throw my naked body at my spouse.  As life changes and I change, I ask Spirit: How can I care for my spouse, nurture the relationship, be kind to him, proceed with him?  I get the Fool, which in my deck is a naked white woman with flowers in her

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Categories
theory

faggot

content warning: This post centers the word faggot, which some find offensive. faggot My spouse and I and our homegirl were on a road trip.  On the freeway, headed north–strangely, I was driving.  Driving is not something I do much.  A motorcycle was behind me for a long time. “Do you think it’s a pig?”

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theory

hot trans lady

My local closest friend is a hot trans lady.  We are very close–best friends.  We met last summer, and I see her almost every day.  She’s close to my spouse also. I want to have sex with her–this hot trans lady.  She is not planning on fucking me.  My whole body says a huge YES. 

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Categories
theory

sex with you

“The other people I want to have sex with, it’s based on ignorance.  I don’t know what I would find if I entered that territory.  When I want to have sex with you, I know what I’m asking for.  I want you–I love you.” I was talking to my spouse–we were in bed. “Wanting to

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Categories
smut theory

handing off

I’m having a repetitive fantasy about handing off my spouse.  It’s a variation on previous fantasy about the trusted friend. My spouse and the friend are finally going to start having sex, and I want to be part of the processes.  I ask if I can show our friend my spouse’s body before they have

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theory

I’m dating

I’m dating, and I hate it.  I always want to skip to the middle of relationship.  It’s too scary to do this getting-to-know-you part with so much baggage activated. Yesterday I had a date with someone new who I met online: a very tall, thin, white translady.  She is 31–a few years younger than I

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Categories
unsent letter

friend

Dear friend, I keep pulling the tower and death card, when I ask Spirit about you–it’s been months.  Spirit tells me our relationship needs big change. Earlier on I used to get the three of swords, five of cups.  Spirit told me to walk away, and I didn’t have the guts.  When I asked the

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