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theory

feel your feelings

I wore my black Feel Your Feelings tank top to the sex party along with my black kilt.  The words of the shirt are all caps in neon colors and white, standing out boldly on the black.  The Feel Your Feelings shirt is a ringer, so there are thin white lines at the neckline and

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smut theory

going down on my spouse’s ass

Going down on my spouse’s ass was more emotional than I ever could have imagined.  So much I learned, I had no idea I would learn. Previously I thought assholes were embarrassing and dirty.  I had no idea they can be tender, sweet, vulnerable places to deeply love.  It’s like I discovered a whole new

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theory

faggot

content warning: This post centers the word faggot, which some find offensive. faggot My spouse and I and our homegirl were on a road trip.  On the freeway, headed north–strangely, I was driving.  Driving is not something I do much.  A motorcycle was behind me for a long time. “Do you think it’s a pig?”

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Categories
theory

can I touch your balls

“Can I touch your balls, if I feel curious about them?” I asked my spouse. “Yes,” he said. I moved my hand to the sweet softness. “Can I touch your balls, if I feel affectionate toward them?” I asked. “Yes,” he said. I pet them with love. “Can I touch your balls, if I feel

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unsent letter

runaway

You know that kid you met on the train and wanted to save?  She was a runaway.  The secret was she had escaped from sex work. You wanted to help her, but how?  It was a bad situation.  How much was she playing you? I was trying to understand the severity / immediacy of the

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Categories
theory

queer sex

I love queer sex, and am not keen on straight sex.  But maybe it’s a false distinction?  That’s what I’m pondering today. I think of queer sex as dynamic–it changes mid-scene and over the years creative–we have to do different things than insert a tab into a slot showing up as my whole self transformative–it

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theory

new pants

He was wearing new pants, bright and colorful.  He bought them at an Asian import store in town, mostly Nepali, on a whim. Usually my spouse wears dude clothes, dressed as a hiker, with REI style nylon outdoorsy cargo pants and cotton tee shirts, earth tones, with hiker-style shoes.  So these bright rainbow cotton hippie

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theory

spark

When you have a crush on someone, what makes the spark?  Where does the crush come from? There’s chemistry–it’s not just liking someone.  Friendship is everywhere, but a crush is different.  There’s a mysterious combination of factors.  I get excited, then hormones take over.  My body trusts another person, whether it’s actually safe to trust

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Categories
review theory

queerness at the sex party

There’s so much I learned at the sex party.  I wrote that long post about it, but I left a lot out.  I want to write about queerness at the sex party because that’s one of the things that I was paying attention to and that matters the most. age I have a cliche that

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Categories
theory

socialize

“I wanted to take care of some things, so I could then socialize with my clothes off,” my spouse said. “Wow, sounds fun,” I told my spouse.  “I want to socialize with my clothes off too!” We laughed.  Later he did take his clothes off.  I did too, and we socialized very sweetly. cuddle I

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