Categories
theory

monogamy is not a safety net

Sometimes I wish safety was possible.  I saw this meme saying “Monogamy is not a safety net” and felt a sad joy of recognition.  So true.  I wish monogamy was a safety net–I wish there was safety anywhere. I prefer openness, with honest communication, doing the work of love, showing up, the pleasure and joy

Continue Reading

Categories
ritual unsent letter

punishment

I read something about punishment, and it made me think of you.  I don’t believe in punishment–prisons, parents hitting kids, punishment in relationships that are supposed to be sweet, like friendships and partnerships. Seems like consequences are inevitable, but something about the “I am right–you are wrong, so you must suffer,” creeps me out like

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

what poly means

What poly means can vary.  For my own life, I don’t like the term polyamorous–I like non-monogamy or open relationship.  Openness feels happy, for me–like the sky.  Open field, open heart. Poly makes me think of parrots, polygons, and annoying, selfish white people who think they’re the center of the world.  Their relationships seem extra

Continue Reading

Categories
smut theory

spider

“Do I have a spider on me?” he asked. “No–I don’t think so!” I said.  “Come over here.  Let me do a spider inspection.” He came to me, beautiful.  I looked him over.  “What kind of spider might I be looking for?” I asked. “Big like a Daddy Longlegs.” “Turn around,” I said.  I looked

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

how to do relationship

There was someone on the fetlife fans fb group asking an advice question.  He met someone in a regular life context, and wants to try being with her–he’s dommy and asked how to introduce kink.  I read some responses that grossed me out.  But I’ve been thinking a lot about how to do relationship: communication,

Continue Reading

Categories
unsent letter

what I wish

This is what I wish the Joker of Hearts would say. dear Nest, I miss you so much and think about you every day.  Txting you was one of my favorite parts of the day.  I miss showing you pictures too, because a good plant pic or graffiti pic, I knew you would lose your

Continue Reading

Categories
unsent letter

genie

Again I was lying in bed, trying to sleep.  My mind was roaming around a lil bit, over the hills of the past.  I remembered that time we were pretending you were a genie.  Do you remember that? I can’t recall why we were pretending that.  Maybe because I said you looked like a genie

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

anger

I felt angry, which is ok–any feeling is ok with me, as long as I can feel it and move through it.  Anger tells me something is wrong–usually that I’m not getting what I need, or something wrong is happening, to me or another person. It really hurt me, to be dropped by someone I

Continue Reading

Categories
unsent letter

weed

high I hope it’s ok to send you this art which I bought for you, a few weeks ago.  I don’t know what else to do with it.  Seems appropriate to send, in a way, since weed is what you choose instead of me. Weed symbolizes irresponsibility, to me.  I have a friend who smokes

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

breakfast

“You’re great,” he said.  I had made him breakfast using the materials provided by our airbnb host. “You’re great!” I said.  “You’re the extra great who makes me masturbate.” “You’re funny,” he said. “Yeah, I am funny!” I said.  “You’re right about that.  You get the funny for free.  The rest, you have to pay.”

Continue Reading