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theory unsent letter

I was never young

Dear friend, I was never young.  In years, I was young; I was born as a baby and progressed as one does.  But I was never young in the sense of needs met, well-being protected, spirit cherished. What’s innocence?  I definitely wasn’t guilty.  But life didn’t unfold in a stepwise way.  Choices were denied me,

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theory unsent letter

upset

My spouse was upset that their friend was not getting back to them and not making time to see them.  My spouse was upset to the point of losing sleep about it. “Is there something wrong with me?” my spouse asked. “No, sweetheart,” I said.  “You’re a good friend–you’re amazing.  There’s something wrong with the

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theory

getting fucked with my own dick

I didn’t know it was possible.  But let me tell you how my mind was blown by getting fucked with my own dick. Recently I bought a harness and dildo, which changed my life.  Suddenly my gender is affirmed, and I feel a whole new form of freedom.  Please see my previous post about what

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theory unsent letter

sex notes

These sex notes are for my spouse– things I’ve noticed, felt, and wanted lately. sex notes Dear lover, Yesterday when we had sex, I thought maybe when you were fucking me, I could have cum a second time.  The vibrator was still on my clit, and I rode out that intense orgasm which made me

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theory

I love you, bitch

Having sex with my spouse recently, I wanted to be called bitch a lot.  My spouse was kind to me, or mean in a round about way, speaking to me as I requested.  When he said, “I love you, bitch,” that was my favorite. Yes, I want my spouse’s love.  I want my spouse’s love

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unsent letter

generous

My heart was broken again.  I wanted to ask you what’s not good enough about me.  What are you looking for?  Am I too kind, or am I too generous? The first time I touched you, I felt your remarkable open heart.  That instant feeling of cozy safety had never happened to me before.  My

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theory

what she gave me

I went to pho with my dear friend.  We were sitting outside, eating delicious soup.  My friend gave me their basil; I gave them my cilantro.  Probably that’s love, that considerate sharing of resources. I thought of my not-quite-ex, the one I loved before, and what she gave me: my recent situationship.  She was the

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theory unsent letter

the erotic

Dear friend, I was thinking about something you mentioned regretting.  I’m sorry it hurts to hurt another person.  I wanted to tell you: the erotic is fueled by the tension between what’s real and what’s not real.  The tension creates an energy.  It’s ok to be wrong during sex, as long as it’s consensual. Exploring

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theory unsent letter

direct action

Dear friend, I worried about you, when you were headed to another state to do direct action and risk arrest.  Partly I’m worried because you’ve never been arrested. I’m proud of you for wanting to make a better world.  But I know that in direct actions, there’s risk with police violence.  Things happen unexpectedly.  There

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theory

the hot springs

My spouse and I went to a hot springs, and it was my first time in a clothing optional space.  Well, the sex parties we enjoy are clothing optional.  But this was more nudity and felt different. Strangely, it felt sexier at the hot springs than the sex parties.–at least our first visit on a

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