Categories
fiction smut

horse stable fantasy

Ok, please bear with me.  Strange horse stable fantasy ahead.  Don’t ask me where this one came from.  It’s almost a dream. horse stable fantasy There was a horse stable, but it didn’t have horses, straw, feed bags, horse food, or horse poop in it.  It had a different person in each stall. The deal

Continue Reading

Categories
smut theory

kind to my body

“Tell me you want to be kind to my body,” I told my spouse. “I want to be kind to your body,” he said. “Tell it to me…provocatively,” I said. “I want to be kind to your body,” he said slower, with a smile. Yes, this is love, shared kindness for a long time. curious

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

avoiding sex

“I haven’t thought much about those things,” the man I loved said to me.  He’d just read the long essay that’s partly why I started this blog.  It’s about sexual ethics and how I learned to love through the confusing journey of being preyed upon as a young person, healing, bdsm, sexual desire. Wow, I

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

avoidance, violence, intimacy

I was in love with a man–he was avoidant.  I saw him in a domestic violence cycle with his long term partner.  It was avoidance, violence, intimacy. avoidance, violence, intimacy He would promise her a thing–then he wouldn’t follow through, which enraged her.  I think she read his lack of follow-though as proof that he

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

like me

“What can I do so you you’ll like me forever?” I asked my spouse.  We were lying in bed, naked and cuddling post-lunch. “Let me suck on your titty,” he said. “Oh, ok,” I said.  “So you’ll suck on my titty and think about it?  What I can do so you’ll always like me?” “Yeah,”

Continue Reading

Categories
smut theory

alchemy

Lately my spouse has been fucking me daily.  But today I wanted to give him a blow job.  Strange how different it can feel each time, the same act with the same person.  Moods, needs, feelings, health, energy level, and desires all fluctuate.  Then when we meet in bed to do the deed, the alchemy

Continue Reading

Categories
smut

something different

We did something different, which I needed.  Thank goodness for my creativity that shines out of me in many aspects. scarf “Lie on your tummy.  I’m going to touch you light touch with this scarf, then firm touch with my hands.  Then you’re going to flip over, and we’ll do your other side,” I said

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

disabled sex in the time of pandemic

Disabled sex in the time of pandemic has saved me. Sexual pleasure is a way I love my body and my whole self. It’s soul-nourishing. It also motivates me to continue the hard work of life. Sex helps me understand how I’m doing. I notice where my mind goes, how my body reacts to stimulation

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

how I learned about sexuality

This is how I learned about sexuality as a kid and young person. experiences of my own body–masturbation being violated being oppressed by my mom, as she tried to protect me from being violated medical cruelty movies tv shows classmates, friends books my mom’s Cosmopolitan magazines being looked at / male gaze weird comments totally

Continue Reading

Categories
art smut

language healing

“Tell me you want your dick sucked,” I told my spouse.   We were in bed, naked and close, and his dick was in my hand. “I want my dick sucked,” he said. “Tell me you want your dick sucked,” I repeated. “I want my dick sucked,” he repeated, with a little more emotion. Feels good

Continue Reading