Categories
smut theory

spider

“Do I have a spider on me?” he asked. “No–I don’t think so!” I said.  “Come over here.  Let me do a spider inspection.” He came to me, beautiful.  I looked him over.  “What kind of spider might I be looking for?” I asked. “Big like a Daddy Longlegs.” “Turn around,” I said.  I looked

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Categories
smut theory

sex injury

“My ass hurts and my legs hurt.  It’s a sex injury.  I wonder if I could get a grant for that,” I said.  “I need a grant to buy more…cauliflower.  To fuel me, so I can have more sex with you, and get more sex injury.” My spouse and I were taking an early morning

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Categories
theory

how to do relationship

There was someone on the fetlife fans fb group asking an advice question.  He met someone in a regular life context, and wants to try being with her–he’s dommy and asked how to introduce kink.  I read some responses that grossed me out.  But I’ve been thinking a lot about how to do relationship: communication,

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Categories
theory

what changed

What changed after I wrote the threesome essay is I feel less sure that threesome is possible.  I’d love to live another 40 years, and I hope there’s lots of joy in my future. But I realized that my spouse qualifies as a senior now, some places.  His disabilities worsen, and mine do too–more pain,

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Categories
review theory

threesome

I’m so excited I had an essay published in BiWomen Quarterly.  Last time, they published a poem I wrote called “how I find it.”  This essay is called “Threesome” and is vulnerable. I talk about wanting a threesome over the years, attempts at forming a larger family, and how all that feels.  I mention heartbreak,

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Categories
unsent letter

you matter to me

Lately I’ve had a fantasy that you love me how I want to be loved.  You hold me and tell me I matter to you.  You undress yourself and me, lay me down in your bed or the bank of a river.  Then you slip yourself inside of me, and with force I’ve rarely known,

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Categories
theory

consent

Briefly over zoom, I saw a friend’s sticker about consent, saying it’s like fries.  I was really confused.  What?  Weird comparison. what it is Consent to me is clear, comforting, sometimes formal, and crucial.  Sacred, even!  A standard yet tender way to show love, and give respect and care to other people. Consent is how

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Categories
smut theory

date

“Can you take a shower around 11, and then we’ll have our date around 11:30?” I asked. “Sure!” my spouse said. “Yeah, so when I lick your dick, it’s not too salty from sweat.  That would be my preference.” I’m usually not a dommy person, so it was fun to make this date request.  Summer

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Categories
theory

BDSM school

Someone on the fetlife facebook group asked–If you went to school for BDSM, what would you study? Sounds fun!  I wanna go to BDSM school!  I considered what topics stimulate me.  What do I ponder most often?  Then I answered: major in transcendence through ecstatic pain, minor in power. bdsm school I got a thrill

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Categories
smut theory

orgy

A good friend sent me a link to some arty sexy film stuff, made by a woman who does cam work.  Finally I clicked the link. I like how the filmmaker talks about digital identity and women’s empowerment related to persona, layers of who we are and what we present, for money. Sex work is

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