This is a letter to my lover, or to someone who was my lover, and I hope one day they’re my lover again. It’s about my chosen wound. Dear one, My chosen wound is partly about fatness. You know what the world does to very fat people. But it’s more about home and safety, and
Dear friend, I worried about you, when you were headed to another state to do direct action and risk arrest. Partly I’m worried because you’ve never been arrested. I’m proud of you for wanting to make a better world. But I know that in direct actions, there’s risk with police violence. Things happen unexpectedly. There
You know that kid you met on the train and wanted to save? She was a runaway. The secret was she had escaped from sex work. You wanted to help her, but how? It was a bad situation. How much was she playing you? I was trying to understand the severity / immediacy of the
Is it possible that a family has something rotten at its core? My family has something like a horror movie woven into the cloth. I don’t want to use the word “evil.” More like diseased. But that sounds like an ableist metaphor. Is this rotten-ness real, and if so, what do I do about it?
Dear friend, this is why they broke up with you. scary That confidence that makes bosses promote you to supervisor is what makes you scary to argue with. You hold beliefs with rigid certainty that crushes others. Your confidence is lack of curiosity, which is chilling. Love means caring what the other person thinks and
This morning I realized that it hurt so much because we touched each other’s shame places. Rejection is hard. But it hurt more than it needed to. What are your shame places? Some people feel terrible for previous bad behavior. Some are shamed by culture for body type disability poverty race and ethnicity gender queerness
This is what I realized, asking my spouse to stuff my holes like the slut I am, every time I complained about emotional pain from loving a man who didn’t love me and choose me. Mostly what I realized was something sad. Pleasing others is how I get a sense of self-worth, and that was
If you’ve done bdsm with power play or pain play, you might be familiar with sub drop. It’s important to know that you or the person you’re playing with might lose their shit in some hours. Oops, I forgot about it. I experienced surprise sub drop the other day. massage A new friend–let’s call them
Hello, I wanted to write you an email explaining to you about death terror and how I keep realizing and forgetting: I don’t need you in particular; I need family, a functional culture, and to be loved properly by many people, near and far. We would argue about details, but you don’t love me properly.
Hello, I’ve been thinking about how I really felt when my brother said I love you. There was how I thought I should feel, how other people thought I should feel, how I wished I felt, and buried underneath years of abuse and pain, how I actually felt. Takes a long time to find that