Categories
smut theory

back

“Your back is so beautiful,” I said.  It was 5:30 am, and I’d been up for a few hours already.  I came back to bed to wake up my spouse. I’d taken off my shirt, and I cuddled close to him.  I was cold, and he was so warm, snuggled in bed. “Pretty, pretty pumpkin,”

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Categories
art theory

fat sex

I saw this meme and loved it.  Fat sex is my life.  Disabled sex is my life also.  I might be too fat to sit on anyone’s lap like this.  But I relate to the lovers on the couch. Many people like to see themselves accurately portrayed in art and media, and I imagine how

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Categories
theory unsent letter

the friend

I’m 95% convinced that I need to give up the friend I loved who hurt me, the harmful house guest.  Not speaking with him for a month, I’ve learned a lot.  I’ve pondered in my own mind, written about him, and shared conversations with close friends about what happened. Mostly I accept the loss, but

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Categories
theory

breast convention

“That would be conventional,” I said, and moved his hand to my breast.  We were cuddling nakedly in bed, and he was sleepy.  We were having a conversation that was inconsequential. “Wow, wouldn’t that be great.  Would you like to go to a breast convention?  I bet you’d like that.” “Yeah!” he said. “Mmm, I

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Categories
theory

what changed

What changed after I wrote the threesome essay is I feel less sure that threesome is possible.  I’d love to live another 40 years, and I hope there’s lots of joy in my future. But I realized that my spouse qualifies as a senior now, some places.  His disabilities worsen, and mine do too–more pain,

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Categories
unsent letter

imagination

I was talking with my therapist the other day.  She said, “It’s all imagination.  You know how when you go to a place like an amusement park?  There will be one of those wooden things, painted on one side, with a hole in it, and people stick their face through it, so someone else can

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Categories
theory unsent letter

hurricane

dear Friend, I have this fantasy of renting an airbnb near you.  You could come over every day, and we could cook for one another.  You could tell me how many hugs per day I was allowed to hug you, and I could max out my quota. You liked my visit fantasy, when I texted

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Categories
theory

relationship bill of rights

Someone online mentioned this Relationship Bill of Rights, and I took a look, not expecting anything helpful there. Wow, I was blown away.  So many good facts collected beautifully.  It’s on a polyamory website, but many of the rights apply to monogamous relationships too. https://www.morethantwo.com/relationshipbillofrights.html I like to read this list and pause after every

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