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theory

what a slut is

There’s “slut” in the current one-phrase description of this blog.  I’m a shimmering disabled oxytocin slut, luminous and kind.  Lately I’ve been thinking about what a slut is. When the man I loved came here to visit me, he used me, and I’m still recovering.  He had sexual contact with me, gave me zero aftercare,

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theory

being vulnerable

I like being vulnerable.  It’s my favorite thing to do.  Being vulnerable to people who don’t want that is no good.  But being vulnerable with people who want that from me and will be vulnerable in response–that’s what I live for. It’s why I write, why I love, and my whole deal.  Activism, ritual, support

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theory

reasons to be poly

This meme is playful, the reasons to be poly, and this brain ranking.  It’s not to be taken seriously–the point is the D&D joke at the end.  But I saw my reasons are not on there. My main reason to have open relationship is resilience through diversity.  It’s a permaculture concept.  I wish for a

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theory

consent

Briefly over zoom, I saw a friend’s sticker about consent, saying it’s like fries.  I was really confused.  What?  Weird comparison. what it is Consent to me is clear, comforting, sometimes formal, and crucial.  Sacred, even!  A standard yet tender way to show love, and give respect and care to other people. Consent is how

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Categories
theory

respect of sexual needs

My spouse and I went away on a trip.  When we came home, I realized that the power dynamic here is so messed up, in a way I had never articulated to myself.  It has to do with respect of sexual needs. It hurts the men who live here, when I wear tank tops.  Hurts

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theory

gender anarchy household

respect me: do you respect me? him: I love you. me: but do you respect me?  always? him: yes. me: is love a type of respect?  or are they separate? worship me: I want you to worship me. him: I do. me: no, I mean formally.  worship the hell outta me, then fuck the shit

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