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smut theory

orgy

A good friend sent me a link to some arty sexy film stuff, made by a woman who does cam work.  Finally I clicked the link. I like how the filmmaker talks about digital identity and women’s empowerment related to persona, layers of who we are and what we present, for money. Sex work is

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theory

two questions

My friend mentioned some sexual frustration, and I felt curious.  She mentioned porn, so I asked her what kind of porn she likes, and if it’s difficult for her to come.  Those were two questions. Then I realized I should answer my own two questions.  So here I am, to blog what I like in

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theory

my feet

I used to feel very private about my feet.  I didn’t want them messed with.  They seemed lowly, making contact with the ground.  Calloused, never super clean, vulnerable to a shard of glass or stubbed toe.  Sore, a lot of the time.  They seemed off limits. An ex had sex with my feet, one time. 

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theory

porn star world

Somebody friended me on instagram, and I don’t know her.  I looked through the friends she follows.  I saw a porn star I know of, on the list.  Then as I continued, I saw another inhabitant of porn star world who I know well and avoid like the plague.  He hurt me really bad, and

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unsent letter

hard no

dear Asshole Who Inspires a Hard No, You wouldn’t talk to me about difficult things when I loved you and we were close.  So why do you want to talk now? Now you push me, trying to force me to engage you.  It’s one more violence to the list of violences you’ve done while pretending

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theory

sexy pictures

Taking sexy pictures of myself reminds me how I got in trouble in elementary school for drawing a naked woman.  My body was not my own to depict, or even a neutral object.  It was property of my relatives or a patriarchal Christian god, temporary property of my teacher at school.  I’m happy to have

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Categories
smut theory

dick pics, desired pain, feeling lucky

“You have no idea how good that felt,” I told my spouse, breathless.  He’d been sucking on my nipples gently, and touching them, as I masturbated.  He was standing by the bed. The pleasure was extra intense, and my orgasm was an extreme state.  Like I was losing my mind.  Difficult to be quiet–too much. 

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Categories
smut

porn performance

understudy My friend is making porn and invites me and my spouse to the set.  But oh no!  The dude she was supposed to do it with didn’t show up, so she needs someone else to do it with.  My spouse is the only dicked person around.  She asks him if she can suck his

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theory

my porn journey

From believing porn was bad, to considering making porn for money, my first encounters with porn, and what I think of it now–I’ve been on a journey that has taken me to some strange places.  Actual experiences, dreams, and fantasies have fueled my sexual imagination, but porn has too. early I hadn’t made up my

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Categories
unsent letter

how I really feel

I saw you as a smooth, creative person who needed very little.  A bikesexual filmmaker artist northwest cliche.  I thought you had a thousand friends.  They were all over the world, and you could stay with them, when you toured with your film festival.   Were you having sex with all of them?  Not sure.  Who

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