I had a realization about my spouse. It’s a big deal because it affects my sexual behavior. realization The two women I can think of who’ve pursued my spouse, over the past few years, would have been so destablizing for our family if my spouse had pursued them back. Recently we learned that one of
There’s one word– jealousy–but it can feel very different for me, like there should be multiple words. sad, scared jealousy Sad, scared jealousy makes me want comfort. It makes me want a hug, and to be told I’m loved and special. Rationally I know I’m probably ok, but my body is having a hard time
Intentional non-monogamy is important to me. I need freedom to be who I am, learn, and not have all my eggs in one basket. Diversity of support is necessary, as a realistic disabled person. I’m not close to my family of origin, and my parents are both dead. Community sustains me, and I get life-meaning
insert image here I looked up BDSM public domain images to plop into this post, and what I saw had nothing to do with what I actually did. the stuff we did wasn’t costly–I didn’t buy any costuming or gear. I’m not a thin white woman with big tits, restrained and slightly grinning, suggesting naughtiness.