Categories
theory

mama cat

I’ve seen a facial expression of a mammal who had a litter and is nursing numerous baby animals.  Mostly a mama cat, lying on her side, with countless kittens climbing on her and going for the milk.  She gave birth to them a few days ago.  She’s lying there as they knead her, find a

Continue Reading

Categories
art theory

ass

“God, your ass is beautiful,” I told my spouse.  We had just had sex, then cuddled for a long time.  It was time to get up and pee, and I admired my spouse’s gorgeous naked behind.  Like art–so curvy and luscious, glowing in pale blue from the fairy lights above. “Is you ass always going

Continue Reading

Categories
theory unsent letter

difficult things

How many difficult things can you do in a day?  I like to do only one per day.  Then I can think about it, learn my lessons, roll it over in my mind, tell friends what I did and get their support and feedback.  Possibly recover so I can do more difficult things, other days.

Continue Reading

Categories
smut

in bed

“I want to wrap this around my dick,” my spouse said, touching the fat pad of my vulva, just above my slit.  We were lying in bed together, post-cuddle. I laughed.  “What do you think it is?  Some kind of dick cloak, a jacket, or a hotdog bun?” I asked. Then we were both laughing–I

Continue Reading

Categories
ritual theory

flower bits

I was looking through my magic bag–I took out all of the materials.  Two rings are sewed in.  There’s a special smooth rock I love with inclusions, a small rock from the grave place of my ancestors, two other small significant rocks pertaining to my mom and the health of my blood.  Sadly I looked

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

jealousy

There’s one word– jealousy–but it can feel very different for me, like there should be multiple words. sad, scared jealousy Sad, scared jealousy makes me want comfort.  It makes me want a hug, and to be told I’m loved and special.  Rationally I know I’m probably ok, but my body is having a hard time

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

socks

“Look at my socks, and then how my shirt matches my socks.  What do you think?” He looked at my socks, and I felt appreciated. “It’s great,” my spouse said. “Do you want to mate with me now?” I asked.  “Have I proven I’m good enough for you?” “Yes,” my spouse said. “Yay!” I said,

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

homeless

“Can you turn here and drive back toward that gas station?” I asked my spouse.  He turned right and did as I asked.  “I saw someone homeless who looked like ______,” I said. “That person?” my spouse asked, pointing to a stranger. “No, that person,” I said.  Same tall, thin frame, pale skin, long blond

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

what a slut is

There’s “slut” in the current one-phrase description of this blog.  I’m a shimmering disabled oxytocin slut, luminous and kind.  Lately I’ve been thinking about what a slut is. When the man I loved came here to visit me, he used me, and I’m still recovering.  He had sexual contact with me, gave me zero aftercare,

Continue Reading

Categories
theory

bonding cues

My intro on facebook lately is “processing bonding cues creatively while Rome burns.”  It came about when I was looking at something about autism online, months ago.  The term “bonding cues” really stood out to me. Yes, the things people do to indicate closeness or distance, privately and in a group–thrilling.  I love bonding cues. 

Continue Reading