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review theory

vegan cum

“Why don’t you get a vegan cock and balls, and I’ll eat the vegan cum?” I asked. My spouse was craving baked goods, so I suggested a local donut chain that used to have a cream filled donut called cock and balls.  It was funny and daring. But we live here now; I hadn’t been

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smut theory

strawberries

My spouse washed some fruit for me and put it in a bowl.  Raspberries, blackberries, and strawberries, fresh from the farmers market.  Yum! But it was too much.  I ate them in order of how much I like them, saving the best for last.  First I ate all the blackberries, dark and plump.  Then the

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theory

candy

“Hey, dear.  This candy reminds me of your dick,” I told my spouse.  “You wanna try one?” We were driving in the car, on a long ride.  And we’d stopped at a gas station.  I went into the mini-mart and looked through all the candy.  It was that kind of mood–I wanted to stare at

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Categories
theory

food fetish

I don’t think of myself as a food fetish kind of person.  Sure, garlic makes me horny.  But that’s normal.  Garlic makes everyone horny! Then I told my spouse I was craving lasagna really bad.  But I can’t eat it.  Well, I could try it with a white sauce instead of red.  Veg instead of

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theory

eel

“Is eel a fish?” I asked my spouse. “Yes,” he said. “Oh, are you sure?” I asked.  “Seems different.” “Maybe you’re thinking of lampreys,” he said. I was thinking of nasty tube animals with toothy mouths.  Animals to dodge, for sure. “I could try one,” I said.  We were at all you can eat sushi,

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