Categories
theory

poker

My brother was a drug dealer.  High school I’m guessing just weed–later, he dealt all the drugs.  I’m not saying anything about the weapons.  But they can go together.  He played poker as a cover, like a decoy.  So we heard about the ups and downs of his poker career. mama I heard a cliche–a

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Categories
theory

what changed

What changed after I wrote the threesome essay is I feel less sure that threesome is possible.  I’d love to live another 40 years, and I hope there’s lots of joy in my future. But I realized that my spouse qualifies as a senior now, some places.  His disabilities worsen, and mine do too–more pain,

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Categories
smut theory

date

“Can you take a shower around 11, and then we’ll have our date around 11:30?” I asked. “Sure!” my spouse said. “Yeah, so when I lick your dick, it’s not too salty from sweat.  That would be my preference.” I’m usually not a dommy person, so it was fun to make this date request.  Summer

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Categories
theory

edgy

“Hey, can I ask you something edgy?” I asked my spouse. “Yeah,” he said. “You know how kids are not supposed to have a sexuality?” “Yeah?” he said. “But they do, right.  But we’re supposed to kind of pretend that they don’t?” “Yeah?” “But it’s not a problem.  It’s a problem if adults hurt them,

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Categories
theory

body

My body is always changing, as I age and my disabilities fluctuate.  But my feelings about my body change even more! I love my body for reals, hardcore, unconditionally.  My disabilities, my fatness, the strength of my legs, the beauty of my breasts, my smile, my hair.  My lovely, trustworthy vulva that gives so much

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Categories
theory

what do you notice

I read a question on a fetlife group–what do you notice first, when you meet someone.  A lot of answers were “eyes” and “smile.”  Some “ass” and “breasts” also.  The implication was that the new person was being judged as potentially attractive. Is everyone judging everyone, as potentially attractive?  I am bi/pan/fluid–I could find anyone

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Categories
theory

crazy

When I left my ex-husband, he decided I was having a manic episode.  He called my parents and my best friend to tell them I was having a manic episode and ask them to check up on me and try to help me.  He thought I was crazy. I remember my best friend telling me

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Categories
theory

looks can be deceiving

I don’t usually hear podcasts, but this morning I listened to this episode of Psych and the City.  It’s called Looks Can Be Deceiving: Equity in Sexuality and Disability.  It’s an interview with the co-founders of Disability and Sexuality Access Network.  They are Caz Killjoy and Amber DiPietra. I liked this podcast interview for the

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Categories
theory

disability and sexuality

I really like this organization, Disability and Sexuality Access Network.  I love disability, disabled people, disability justice, access.  Also, I’m curious about pain, illness, health done in an authentic way that actually helps, rights.  So many disabled people in this world, and we matter.  Our needs matter. Then sexuality is so important to me too–being

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Categories
theory

transness is desirable

I’m loving trans friends, of the present and the past.  Here are some thoughts for Trans Day of Remembrance.  Transness is desirable. thank you Thank you to my trans friends and partner, for being close to me and sharing your reality with me, which is a reality as valid as any.  Maybe more valid. I

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