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theory

may

“Happy May Day,” I said to my spouse.  It was early morning, and he was going back to sleep.  “I’ll dance around your may pole later.” change Recently I fell out of love with my homegirl.  It’s an intense change.  My sexual desires and feelings for her comforted me, even while her rejection floored me

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unsent letter

friend

Dear friend, I keep pulling the tower and death card, when I ask Spirit about you–it’s been months.  Spirit tells me our relationship needs big change. Earlier on I used to get the three of swords, five of cups.  Spirit told me to walk away, and I didn’t have the guts.  When I asked the

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unsent letter

hurt

This letter about relationship pain comes from a hurt place I don’t know how to talk about.  This letter is an unsent attempt to sort it out. Dear friend, I’ve been thinking about me and you.  I remember you mentioned most of your partners have been mean to you, or a mixed situation. My spouse

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list poem smut

bitch

This poem “bitch” is the artifact of intense longing.  Much reverence to the feelers of big feelings, truth tellers, and kinkster sexonauts. bitch I wanted you to turn your vehicle around,  take me to the forest, pin me down on the earth, and see how many times you could make me cum. on the dirt

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list poem unsent letter

the altar

When I soaked black lentils on the counter at the same time you marinated tempeh on the counter, I pretended you were my friend. I hope your meal was as delicious as mine. I dodged you in the kitchen as well as I could, no longer crying about your leaving. I’d memorized your departure date,

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Categories
smut theory

what I fantasize about lately

“I need to write,” I told my spouse.  “I have some smut inside me, and I need to share it.  Not corn smut–not immoral smut.  Good clean smut.”  I want to write about what I fantasize about lately. love sex crushes Lately I don’t have a crush on anyone.  I’m in love with my spouse. 

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Categories
ritual theory

hold this

“Will you hold this?” I asked my spouse. I was sitting on the bed wearing a black, lace-edged tank top, holding my right breast.  I moved toward him and let him reach into my shirt and hold my breast for me. “Ah, thank you,” I said.  “Thank you for helping me carry my burden.”  I

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smut theory

inside of you

“I wanna put my dick inside of you,” my spouse said to me.  We were in bed, and he was very horny. “Why do you wanna do that?” I asked.  “To see if it still fits?” “Yeah,” he said.  “I’m going to put it in all the way, and see if it still fits.  And

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theory

degrees of excitement

I used to think I only wanted sex when I was really horny.  Now I think there are degrees of excitement, and I can enjoy sex in many ways, in different feeling states. youth When I was young, the hormones were coursing through me.  I needed to masturbate regularly for my own comfort, and I

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Categories
theory

crushes

Crushes are weird, especially when they make no sense.  I would prefer if my feelings made sense, and if my spouse’s feelings made sense. I was at our usual grocery store with my spouse, and we saw this guy who works there, who my spouse has mentioned before.  He’s a tall, friendly, gorgeous Black man

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