Categories
theory

how to do relationship

There was someone on the fetlife fans fb group asking an advice question.  He met someone in a regular life context, and wants to try being with her–he’s dommy and asked how to introduce kink.  I read some responses that grossed me out.  But I’ve been thinking a lot about how to do relationship: communication,

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Categories
theory

consent

Briefly over zoom, I saw a friend’s sticker about consent, saying it’s like fries.  I was really confused.  What?  Weird comparison. what it is Consent to me is clear, comforting, sometimes formal, and crucial.  Sacred, even!  A standard yet tender way to show love, and give respect and care to other people. Consent is how

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Categories
theory

anger

I felt angry, which is ok–any feeling is ok with me, as long as I can feel it and move through it.  Anger tells me something is wrong–usually that I’m not getting what I need, or something wrong is happening, to me or another person. It really hurt me, to be dropped by someone I

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Categories
smut theory

question

I like it when he comes on my tits and then rubs his semen on my nipples.  Does everybody like that?  Well, I don’t need my desire to be normal.  That question is irrelevant–my desire is here to stay. Communication is not the easiest skill of my spouse.  So I ask questions.  He is a

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Categories
theory

how to talk to someone about their body

One time my good friend was at a party where people were not wearing shirts.  She was having a conversation with someone who awkwardly said, “I think your breasts are beautiful, by the way.” My friend reported this to me years later, laughing.  The situation had been novel, for her.  It was funny to consider

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Categories
smut theory

how we do sex

How we do sex varies, but this is an accurate account of this morning’s sexual activities, for your reading pleasure. bed “Oh, looks like you’re sleeping.  I thought we were going to bed to do something else!” I said. “We could do something else!” he said, sleep-smiling at me from bed. I climbed into bed

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Categories
theory

my first orgasm

In this post, I talk about my first orgasm.  It’s vulnerable and tender to reveal. What if you get aroused, reading it?  That’s ok.  I’m allowed to talk about my own past, and you’re allowed to have a reaction. If you beat off, imagining me having my first orgasm, good for you.  I might beat

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