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unsent letter

hurt

This letter about relationship pain comes from a hurt place I don’t know how to talk about.  This letter is an unsent attempt to sort it out. Dear friend, I’ve been thinking about me and you.  I remember you mentioned most of your partners have been mean to you, or a mixed situation. My spouse

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theory

what we want vs what we say we want

I wrote about what happened last summer, when my spouse and I briefly lived on a small farm where the farmer witch wanted a sister wife.  Writing helped me realize again: there can be such a large gap between what we want vs what we say we want. sister wife How much truth will fit,

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Categories
smut

open it

“Open it,” I said. I was lying in bed after a shower with the fan blowing on my body.  I was drying off my cunt, my ass, and the place between my abdomen and mons.  And the creases between my thighs and cunt.  So good to get wet and clean, then nicely dry. It’s beneficial

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theory

sexual preference

My spouse and I were on a long car drive, playing driving games.  Suddenly I remembered a years-forgotten game I made up when I was young.  You have to rank five things.  I asked my spouse to rank these five things by sexual preference. smacking my ass by hand smacking my ass by flogger consent-non-consent

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Categories
smut theory

inside of you

“I wanna put my dick inside of you,” my spouse said to me.  We were in bed, and he was very horny. “Why do you wanna do that?” I asked.  “To see if it still fits?” “Yeah,” he said.  “I’m going to put it in all the way, and see if it still fits.  And

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Categories
theory

make love

“Do you have any requests?” I asked.  We were in bed.  I was telling my spouse how much I love him and kissing him. “I want to make love,” my spouse said. “You wanna make love?” I asked.  He was sleepy.  He never uses that language. “Yeah!  I want to build love,” he said. “Build

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review theory

visit

A friend I’d been in love with for more than a year came to visit.  Communication is not a strength of his.  So I wasn’t sure what he was coming for. He’d just broken up with his abusive partner, more definitively this time, and it was a good chance for him to travel.  But why

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theory

how to do relationship

There was someone on the fetlife fans fb group asking an advice question.  He met someone in a regular life context, and wants to try being with her–he’s dommy and asked how to introduce kink.  I read some responses that grossed me out.  But I’ve been thinking a lot about how to do relationship: communication,

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Categories
theory

consent

Briefly over zoom, I saw a friend’s sticker about consent, saying it’s like fries.  I was really confused.  What?  Weird comparison. what it is Consent to me is clear, comforting, sometimes formal, and crucial.  Sacred, even!  A standard yet tender way to show love, and give respect and care to other people. Consent is how

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Categories
theory

anger

I felt angry, which is ok–any feeling is ok with me, as long as I can feel it and move through it.  Anger tells me something is wrong–usually that I’m not getting what I need, or something wrong is happening, to me or another person. It really hurt me, to be dropped by someone I

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