This is what I realized, asking my spouse to stuff my holes like the slut I am, every time I complained about emotional pain from loving a man who didn’t love me and choose me. Mostly what I realized was something sad. Pleasing others is how I get a sense of self-worth, and that was
This is plans for a banishment ritual. I loved some men, over the years. Devotion is a skill. I gave a lot, sometimes more than was best for me. Takes a while to learn the sweet spot. I have social differences, pertaining to autism. And I lacked healthy relationship role models as a kid and
Hey, how are you doing? I share this meme as something funny and too accurate. “Not today, satan” is countered with “What about tonight?” I’ve had some dates with satan. Or devilish folx, if not the Lucifer himself! Yes, he can be persistent. If abusers gave up easily, wouldn’t that be easier. trust My first
I read something about punishment, and it made me think of you. I don’t believe in punishment–prisons, parents hitting kids, punishment in relationships that are supposed to be sweet, like friendships and partnerships. Seems like consequences are inevitable, but something about the “I am right–you are wrong, so you must suffer,” creeps me out like
Again I was lying in bed, trying to sleep. My mind was roaming around a lil bit, over the hills of the past. I remembered that time we were pretending you were a genie. Do you remember that? I can’t recall why we were pretending that. Maybe because I said you looked like a genie
Dear Mama, You are my favorite and my darling. Oh, how I long for you, sweet dear Mama. My heart feels weird and full, to speak to you. How far away you seem. Where did you go? People say you’re inside me. But where? My heart? Where in my heart? My hands? I doubt it.
Abuse can be a train wreck, or subtle, long term harm. Deep in a relationship, it can be hard to have perspective. What’s healthy? What do I deserve? What’s happy? Is life really supposed to be like this? Wow, I was out to sea so long. I forgot what happy could look like. I thought