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theory

acting out

The neighbor getting naked wasn’t wrong in and of itself.  I’m fine with people, including naked people.  Naked bodies are no problem.  The problem was she was naked as a way of acting out.  Definitely there was a desire for attention and disruption. And it worked–she disturbed kids, parents, and other adults.  It was possibly

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theory unsent letter

sex notes

These sex notes are for my spouse– things I’ve noticed, felt, and wanted lately. sex notes Dear lover, Yesterday when we had sex, I thought maybe when you were fucking me, I could have cum a second time.  The vibrator was still on my clit, and I rode out that intense orgasm which made me

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theory

I love you, bitch

Having sex with my spouse recently, I wanted to be called bitch a lot.  My spouse was kind to me, or mean in a round about way, speaking to me as I requested.  When he said, “I love you, bitch,” that was my favorite. Yes, I want my spouse’s love.  I want my spouse’s love

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theory

eunuchs

I’ve been thinking about eunuchs for a few months.  I briefly dated a transgender person who was Italian-American, a witch, and had undergone bottom surgery to remove their dick and get a vulva.  They related to the eunuchs in Rome long ago, some witch eunuchs. content warning: violence Well, honestly I’ve been thinking of eunuchs

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unsent letter

generous

My heart was broken again.  I wanted to ask you what’s not good enough about me.  What are you looking for?  Am I too kind, or am I too generous? The first time I touched you, I felt your remarkable open heart.  That instant feeling of cozy safety had never happened to me before.  My

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theory

what she gave me

I went to pho with my dear friend.  We were sitting outside, eating delicious soup.  My friend gave me their basil; I gave them my cilantro.  Probably that’s love, that considerate sharing of resources. I thought of my not-quite-ex, the one I loved before, and what she gave me: my recent situationship.  She was the

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Categories
smut theory

long orgasm

I have a new sound recording up.  I was masturbating as my spouse went down on my breasts–it’s nine minutes.  My long orgasm is strange and good. https://freesound.org/people/nestvalorfixer/sounds/751155/ I listened to the recording this afternoon while I was masturbating in bed alone.  I hadn’t heard it in a while.  The recording kept me company and

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Categories
theory

rage orgasm

I had a rage orgasm.  It was surprising and almost scared me. Emotionally I’m going through a time of change.  I’m making new choices including saying no to unbalanced, destructive relationships.  Feels great to raise my standards and work on believing I deserve more. content warning: brief mention of sexual violation Family pain and trauma

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theory unsent letter

the erotic

Dear friend, I was thinking about something you mentioned regretting.  I’m sorry it hurts to hurt another person.  I wanted to tell you: the erotic is fueled by the tension between what’s real and what’s not real.  The tension creates an energy.  It’s ok to be wrong during sex, as long as it’s consensual. Exploring

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Categories
smut theory

kinky

“You’re happy just getting your dick sucked,” I told my spouse.  “I want sex that’s way more kinky.” “What do you want?” he asked.  “I’ll do something more kinky.” desires Lately I have some specific kink desires but haven’t communicated them to my spouse.  An easy desire is to move wedges and pillows toward the

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