Categories
theory

sex with you

“The other people I want to have sex with, it’s based on ignorance.  I don’t know what I would find if I entered that territory.  When I want to have sex with you, I know what I’m asking for.  I want you–I love you.” I was talking to my spouse–we were in bed. “Wanting to

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smut theory

handing off

I’m having a repetitive fantasy about handing off my spouse.  It’s a variation on previous fantasy about the trusted friend. My spouse and the friend are finally going to start having sex, and I want to be part of the processes.  I ask if I can show our friend my spouse’s body before they have

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Categories
theory

I’m dating

I’m dating, and I hate it.  I always want to skip to the middle of relationship.  It’s too scary to do this getting-to-know-you part with so much baggage activated. Yesterday I had a date with someone new who I met online: a very tall, thin, white translady.  She is 31–a few years younger than I

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unsent letter

friend

Dear friend, I keep pulling the tower and death card, when I ask Spirit about you–it’s been months.  Spirit tells me our relationship needs big change. Earlier on I used to get the three of swords, five of cups.  Spirit told me to walk away, and I didn’t have the guts.  When I asked the

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Categories
smut theory

dick on my breath

“Can you smell your dick on my breath?” I asked my spouse. I had just been going down on him–now I kissed his mouth. “Yes,” he said. “Does it smell good?” I asked. “Yes,” he said. hands Every once in a while I’ll notice a friend or housemate smell their own hand.  I wonder what

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Categories
theory

beautiful

She was beautiful, not like me–maybe not even like you.  You are the most beautiful person in the world.  But her body…  She was shapely. “You have such a nice figure,” older women told her.  You could tell even though she was wearing clothes. Her face was beautiful as well.  She wore makeup and worked

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unsent letter

hurt

This letter about relationship pain comes from a hurt place I don’t know how to talk about.  This letter is an unsent attempt to sort it out. Dear friend, I’ve been thinking about me and you.  I remember you mentioned most of your partners have been mean to you, or a mixed situation. My spouse

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Categories
smut theory

special honey

“What would you do if you had some special honey?” I asked my spouse.  We were driving in his car.  “Other than put it on your dick and suck it off, of course.  That’s just a given.” Yes, that’s something we did a long time ago, back when my spouse was my anarchist boyfriend. food

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Categories
theory

risk

I was wondering, “Why does it feels so important, when I want to have sex with someone?” Feels vitally important, looming so huge in my internal landscape.  My spouse is wonderful, and I have such good sex with him.  Why risk so much with a new person, just for some thrills? Of course I want

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Categories
theory

sex as motivation

I try to family up with people–it’s a thing.  Often a friend and I get close and closer, then to a point where we are good friends with deep intimacy between us.  And it’s like– ok, are we going to partner now?  At the spot where many would use alcohol or other drugs to get

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