I want places it’s ok to share erotic art. I’ve thought about making a pay site, but I don’t know how to manage the funds considering I’m disabled on benefits.
Likewise I wish for a corn co-op, but my friends don’t seem into it. Not sure I have the energy to manage that from scratch.
Meanwhile, I can make a zine. My spouse takes pictures of my body often.
I asked my spouse to draw a bee on my throat with waterproof eyeliner. I wanted to see, and the pictures got sexy then sexier.
friends
I wanted to share the pretty bee picture with two of my closest friends. Respectfully, I asked for consent. They both said no.
The friend my age explained that they aren’t in a good place around some body stuff. I felt good with their no.
The friend much younger just put a thumbs down on my request. I had sent a few txts, and two other questions got thumbs up. Other txts get red hearts.
Again, I was good with their no and thanked them for helping me understand. Being social is endlessly confusing to me, and I want to be respectful.
rejection
But the two out of two rejections hurt. I’m grateful my friends know themselves and say no. Just I wish more of me was welcome. Not with these two people necessarily–just in general.
Not sure why it hurts. I wish it wasn’t such a big deal. The fact that it is a big deal, I am grateful for. They respect me and enjoy our friendship. They wouldn’t want to damage it with weirdness or confusing desire.
What if I shared the photo, and my friends had meh reactions which hurt me? What would a desirable reaction even be?
Love is important and not something to muddle with racy photos. I’m grateful these friends know how to love me, and we do it well.
questions for discussion
Do you have the desire to share erotic art?
If so, do you have friends to share with?
Which parts of you are generally wanted?
Which parts of you are rejected or less wanted?
What do you find hot?
What role does the erotic serve in your life?
Do you have plans for your next tattoo?
I wonder if a tattoo on my throat will be extra painful.
Do you want to start a corn co-op with me?
