“It’s such a relief, not to be Miss Piggy for once,” I said.
My spouse has been making obnoxious kissing sounds sometimes when they kiss me, and it makes me laugh. I told them they sound like Miss Piggy.
“Mwaaah! Mwaaah! Mwaaaah!” they kiss, and I giggle. “Mwaaah!”
My giggle inspires them–they do it more. Especially when they kiss my tummy, thighs, and vulva in a playful manner after I take a shower, when I’m drying off with the fan.
traditions
We have some fantastic traditions! The post-shower vulva kiss is my favorite. I’m splayed on the bed drying off my lower body for the health of my skin. I look appealing and available, so clean and real.
Another tradition is usually I wake them up in the morning to help them not oversleep. I take my shirt off and lie on top of them, with one foot still on the floor to take some of my weight, and joyfully smoosh them. I kiss them and tell them how good they are.
“Good morning, pumpkin. Do you want to wake up?” I ask. “Did you take a pill?”
They give me garbled sleep-answers.
“Can you breathe?” I ask. They always say yes.
Another tradition is shaving them. A while back they were tired of needing to shave their beard / mustache area every day. But letting it grow gives them sensory trouble. So I said I would shave them as they held my breasts. It’s very sweet. Yes, that improves the experience.
Like distracting a baby. What sweet needs are inside all of us.
muppetry
“If you’re Miss Piggy, that’s great,” I said. “That means I don’t need to be Miss Piggy!”
I am a fat person and have been seen as a girl or woman by almost everyone. Of all the muppets, who was I supposed to be?
“If you’re Miss Piggy, that makes me Kermit,” I continued. “Yay. I love Kermit. I’ve always wanted to be Kermit.”
I imagined myself green, vulnerable, and long-legged. I’m riding a bicycle or playing banjo in a swamp.
Love takes us weird places, and I will always go.
