acting out

The neighbor getting naked wasn’t wrong in and of itself.  I’m fine with people, including naked people.  Naked bodies are no problem.  The problem was she was naked as a way of acting out.  Definitely there was a desire for attention and disruption.

And it worked–she disturbed kids, parents, and other adults.  It was possibly illegal.  Someone called the cops, and my neighbor was taken away in handcuffs.  Earlier that day she had made mischief in one of the common rooms, and someone had called authorities on her for that also.

attention

Ever since, I’ve been thinking about acting out.  Does everyone act out?  It’s not wrong to need attention.  Some people need more than others, and stress can contribute.

The neighbor’s behavior was annoying because it takes resources from other areas of community.  I wish she would deal with her extremes, so we can focus on what really matters, like dog shit, security cameras, flooring controversy, and the gazebo for soggy smokers.  (That was a wry / sarcastic comment about the rigors of community life.)

For some reason, my neighbor thought getting naked made sense.  Was arrest what she was aiming for?

She is crazy, and I am crazy.  I’ve been partly naked outdoors before, but it was appropriate in that space.  I was working toward freedom as well as sun worship with more of me.

crazy

What is acting out, in a medical view?  It’s a bad behavior probably associated with mania or psychosis, and it’s a symptom to medicate away.  It’s a problem–from a medical perspective, there’s no use for it.

In real life, is there a use for acting out?  Extreme expression can release tension.  Being able to cut loose is something we’re allowed to do in the US with alcohol and maybe related to sports.  People can yell and scream at a football game, on a roller coaster….  Maybe in a non-controversial emergency like a car wreck.

Otherwise, adults are expected to keep the lid on at all times.  Seems unrealistic.  Of course repression is a bad idea.  Anger, rage, grief, and sorrow will come out one way or another.  If a culture has very few approved ways of expressing strong emotions, it’s going to get violent as the feelings find a way to be expressed.

My neighbor’s nudity was not violence, but it was disruptive.  It was not consensual, as the whole problem was that people were seeing her naked body without agreeing to that.

me

I’ve been sex blogging for about 15 years, on this blog, my previous sex blog, and my first.  Is talking directly about sex, desire, family pain, gender, kink, and queerness a way of acting out?  Why do I want to discuss private things anyway?

I think it’s religious.  Like the Mayans worshiped time, I worship truth.  Speaking what’s not supposed to be spoken is my joy.  I wish more people would do that.

I’m not getting off sexually on sharing these words.  But I’m getting off to fulfill my destiny.  Truth is why Mother God put me here.

stripes

The last time I spent hours partly naked outdoors, I got a mild sunburn on parts of my body that had never burned before.  I thought my new stripes were beautiful, so I took a picture.

To share the picture might be a form of acting out.  If so, so be it.  Thank you for accepting me, even my body.