I had a good friend who did queer sex work. She was trans, Deaf, and from the south. The sex work seemed dangerous.
The people who came to her for sex work, some could be violent for sure. I don’t know how she found her clients–this was several years ago. Where we lived before.
content warning: brief mention of extreme violence
The queer sex work made me think–well, I can see a piece of how trans people have much shorter life expectancies. My friend could get murdered too easily. It was scary, especially one night when a client was following her.
I wanted to be like–please call me to pick you up, if you need help. But I never wanted to be part of that life, if I could help it. She needed money, had ways she knew how to earn it, and was too disabled to work a more payroll type job.
She never asked me to rescue her. My spouse and I had done things already to help her with housing and other aspects of life. Then she moved away, and we wondered if she was the agent.
What a shitty life for an agent.
How deeply we pull our friends into our risk-taking is a big question. Boundaries are important if we want to stay friends. You are you, and I am me. I need to let you do what you need to do. But I might have a lot of feelings about it.
I think about this with extreme drug use and other self-destruction. Consent is sacred, and I respect everyone’s freedom. But death is a big deal, and I loved her.
I saw a Lex advert the other day where someone said, “don’t report me, but I’m looking for a queer sex worker.” They mentioned how dating is very difficult at this point in their life; they want their clit sucked and to scissor. They said nothing about rate of pay or more details.
I felt surprised, and it seemed bold. I’ve never scissored with anyone. Sounds amazing, potentially. I wonder if they were reported, and their post taken down. (Yes–I checked, and the post is no longer there.)
Sex for me is a sacred act of communion that only works within the context of intimate relationship. Well, that’s how it’s been so far. I have a great imagination and am skilled at masturbation, so I would never dream of hiring a sex worker. I can get off by myself, and love is what charges sex for me. It’s mostly pointless, without the love part.
But once I did dream that I was flirting with someone who turned out to be a sex worker. That dream was about feeling unwanted and undesirable. That’s something I’m thinking about these days too. My ex-girlfriend who chose to have sex another and not me–the unloved wife from a Torah story.
My friend started an onlyfans site. Ey sent me the link today with my good morning. I told em ey are hot and beautiful, and good luck with the endeavor.
I share the link with you now, in case you are curious for some genderfucking sexiness. Love to us all, surviving how we survive.