collar

I made myself a collar, and I love it.  Well, my spouse helped with the ends.  We collaborate happily.

I used black parachute cord from a craft store and a metal double sided leash release.  Not sure what to call those things; English fails me.

It turned out beautiful and works great for my senses, for this unique sacred body I walk around in–Nest, every day.  My collar is not too tight, but meaningful.  I feel it.  It helps me get into a different mode.

When I take it off, for a few minutes, I miss its weight.  Feels like a good sign, to want more of it.

aroused

Putting on my collar or asking my spouse to is a quick way to get aroused.  Feels sacred, like the first time my spouse collared me.  I asked him to hit me and tell me I belonged to him.

“Tell me: For now, you belong to me,” I requested.

“For now, you belong to me,” my spouse said.

I get off on this–my cunt aches.  Part of me wants that–the power play of him owning me.  It feels like a special way he wants me.  Feeling wanted helps me feel safe.

sex party

I had wanted a collar so I could feel more grounded and less approachable at the sex party.  There’s a sex party at a town nearby, once or twice a month, inside a huge barn.  It’s a popular event and costs ten dollars to attend.

I’ve only been to one so far, but I learned a lot there and loved it as food for thought.  I’ve remembered it countless times as a place with different norms and new sexual possibilities.

I’m preparing to go again.  I saw collared strangers there, and I felt for the first time that wearing a collar was an option.   Feels great to change as I widen what’s possible.

The party starts at 8pm, which is late–I need my sleep.  So I keep an eye on when the next party is, and I hope I feel very resilient one party day.  When I went before, it was winter, and the heaters in the barn gave a nasty fume.  I think it will feel better at a warmer time.

The collars others wore had a circle in the middle.  Mine is different, with the leash release.  But I think it communicates the same ideas.  What a powerful symbol.  Hopefully no one will laugh at my homemade collar.