need

“Is there anything you need?” I asked my spouse.

“I need to come all over the place,” he said.

I started busting up laughing.  We were lying in bed naked, cuddling.  His boner was pronounced.

“I need to make you laugh,” he said.

“Where is coming all over the place, on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?” I asked.

“I think it’s number one,” he said.

“Is it up there with self-actualization?” I asked.

“Yeah!” he said.

“Or is it foundational and basic, like not getting eaten by ghosts?” I asked.

I gently bit his hand and made a growly sound.  He was sleepy and fell asleep over and over again.

firehose

Coming all over the place makes me think of a firehouse.  I think of the dick spurting semen all over the place in a wild, gyrating, cartoon way.

Some weird things have made me feel horny lately.  I was telling my spouse a story that involved frogs.  We were co-telling it.  The frogs began to have an orgy.  Why did that arouse me, silly frogs in a bedtime story?

Then I realized frogs don’t even do it like that.  They are the type of animals who leave eggs somewhere, and then another frog comes along and fertilizes them.  I felt embarrassed that I imagined frogs mating in a way they do not mate.

“These frogs,” my spouse asserted.  “Maybe these frogs mate like that.”

True–evolution happens.  It’s gotta change sometime.  Maybe it changes with our bedtime story.

amplexus

I looked it up–frogs do fertilize outside their bodies.  But they have a hug embrace for it, and the hug can last hours or days–even months.

Sounds like heaven.  I would like to try amplexus.  Not a kink on any list I’ve seen, but I’m happy to add to the list!

masturbation

I can masturbate thinking about being a frog with my spouse who’s also a frog, mating in a frog orgy.  I can masturbate thinking about a housemate deciding I’m worth the effort, asking me to partner, and fucking the shit out of me.

Yes, I can masturbate while imagining my spouse’s body–its smooth expanses of delicious, kind goodness.  I can masturbate while thinking about a tree fucking me, its leafy branches rustling in the wind.

Or an old friend rubbing their new tits on my large, soft, drooping ones.  Or being restrained then whipped then fucked then whipped until I’m senseless.  Mermaid fantasy, horse stable fantasy, an old fantasy about a party, imagining my spouse fucking a brilliant old friend who we trust.

I have fantasies about people I love who have not consented to sex with me–I try to avoid those.  There’s an ex who was horrible for me but who I miss.  I never even saw his dick, but his drives controlled so much of what happened between us.

spouse

I can masturbate about my spouse coming all over me.  His beautiful dick is my joy.

His arms holding me, his sweet cuddle, his kindness every day.  No one ever was so safe and exciting at the same time.  I didn’t know what was possible.

At this point I need him.  He says that’s ok.

We’re a great team.  I hope we get another few decades.