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theory

my ass

I took a better picture of my ass.  So large and fat–my hand is there too.  Usually I think my ass is flat, huge, maybe boring, and not that great.  But this pic is pretty.

What do you like in a butt?  Do you like your own butt?  I like mine as a place to sit.  Some chairs are too small for my ass.  I try to blame the chair for being too small, not my ass for being too big.  It’s a lifelong struggle, to see myself as valid when the world tells me I’m wrong.

Smackability is a main butt trait I appreciate.  My spouse has a large, beautiful ass which sticks out nicely, very smackable in a playful way.  I’m grateful for that.

butt regions

I think of my butt as having two main regions.  The upper butt has a fat pad over my tailbone.  In the picture, my hand covers the fat pad.

Wow, I googled “fat pad upper butt” and found a ton of liposuction and cosmetic surgery sites.  And people who are embarrassed and want to know exercises to eliminate their fat pad.

I love that fat pad on my upper butt and would not like to make it go away.  My respect to you, my own ass.

impact

My lower butt is more cheeky, and the nerves seem more connected to my vulva.  So if someone hits my lower butt, it has delicious reverberations in my cunt.  I like it.

If someone hits my upper butt. it’s more like–ack.  Please ask before you hit my upper butt.  It’s a no man’s land in a way.  It’s a body part that not everyone has.  A lot of people who have smaller butts, probably they identify their butt as the cheeky part only.

learning

What I’ve learned from writing this post is that my butt is one of the few parts of my body that I still somewhat hate.  I’ve had to go back and revise some sentences in ways that surprised me.  For example, at first I said the fat pad was strange.  But from the google search I did, tons of people have this body part.  It’s not so strange.

I don’t need to criticize or marginalize my upper butt.  It’s as valid as any other body part I have.

My hand was covering the fat pad partially because I feel vulnerable about that area.  Maybe I feel extra-vulnerable there because I was rude to myself, about it.  Now that I recognize my rudeness, I can extend compassion intentionally instead, and love that part of me in a gentle way.

feelings

I love my ass, and it’s ok if you love it or hate it or don’t really care.  My ass and I are going to be ok.

It’s a lot of work, to heal how I’ve been shamed.  But I’m here to do that work, so bring it.

By Nest

Curious, disabled Earth Goddess, telling the truth.

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