how you like your dick sucked

“Is that how you like your dick sucked?” I asked my spouse.

“Yes,” he said.

He was naked, lying on the bed on his back, resting.  I had my hands on his bare thighs.  I was standing there in my underwear.

My large breasts were prominent and ample in the room.  I’d just sucked his dick.  He’d just ejaculated down my throat.

oral

I’d begged him for dick this morning.  I’m done wondering about my oral fixation.  It’s real–just give it to me.  I want that beautiful strange thing in my mouth, for as long as you’ll shove it there.

The pleasure I feel sucking my spouse’s dick has always disturbed me evolutionarily.  How will the species survive on blowjobs?  Someone’s gotta ejaculate near a vulva sometime.  Hmm, well–we made it.  The species is surviving well.

Strange, isn’t it.  I’m not worried about all the other ways I’m a pervert.  The oral fixation feels like a glitch in humans.  It’s ok, Nest.  We love you just the way you are.

truth

Truth is, to answer the question of how you like your dick sucked–he likes his dick sucked any which way.  Attention to his dick is his joy.

All the ways my spouse is different, challenged, hurt, traumatized, fucked up…  Praise be to Mother God that my spouse is good with sex.  We can always have fun there and connect with pleasure and love.  We have our dysfunctions.  But sex is the place we can meet, take off our clothes, and be real with one another, the deepest real.

Praise be to Mother God that my body is cherished by him, and healed by all the kinds of love we do.  I will attend to his body as much as I can, so grateful for his loyalty.  Whatever he feels and does with other people, he continues to prize me and honor me, keeping me such a tender priority.

priority

I love many people and cringe when they make choices I find self-destructive and ridiculous.  I marvel and feel confused by their fucked priorities.  They pretend they have no choice, which mystifies me.

We always have a choice.  The world is full of things to try, people to love, truth to share, places to visit, music to make, foods to eat, words to read, art to create, and so many new paths.  We can make our own path any time.  Freedom is everywhere.  Many people pretend they aren’t free.  I think they’re afraid, or pretending they’re confined is just easier.

I’m fortunate the path I walk brings me back and back again to my spouse’s beautiful disabled body.