I had this red apple by chance and asked my spouse to help me with a breasty photo shoot–photos of sin. The apple is a symbol.
What is sin? Do you believe in it? I would say it’s selfishly hurting others. It’s putting your own needs first and not giving much thought to others’ well being. Anything non-consensual, exploitative, or cruel. Active, action-y sins, and sins by omission.
Overall the word doesn’t do much for me, as I left Christianity behind a long time ago. The huge religious guilt trip doesn’t work on me anymore. But I do like snakes.
breasts
It’s ok to have sex, want sex, think about it, and write about it. The wrong part is violence to get it, including deception and all the ways people hurt one another sexually.
Have my breasts contributed to sin? They’re innocent. They’ve been used as motivation for nasty people to manipulate me, get close to me, and then abandon me. But my breasts themselves are not doing wrong.
I made a big mistake when I was a young person. Once during sex I violated the boundary of my second girlfriend. I was very sorry. Partly I didn’t understand what she needed–her body had different reactions from mine. I touched her vulva in a way she didn’t want. She forgave me, and I never did that again. Thank goodness for second chances.
She knew me well and understands my heart is good. So that was part of her forgiveness for my sin. She could forgive me and get a lifetime of helpful friendship.
Touching her in an unwanted way was a mistake I made once as a teenager. Many people make “mistakes” like that over and over again, and that’s their life. Men I’ve known (and been related to) believe the world exists for their pleasure, and women exist to use and discard. I see them do that, and I try to get out of the way.
sin
Yes, believing your needs matter more than others’ needs is sin. I want nothing to do with that. Pleasure is for everyone, not just the person with the most power. Power is for everyone, and happiness really is possible. Reciprocal relationships of telling the truth can work. My spouse and I are a living example. We do that every day.
Many people convince themselves that exploitation is the only way they can get what they need. But they are fooling themselves to excuse their violence. They work hard to convince themselves that they have good hearts and make so many excuses for the harm they do. But they should pour all that deception-energy into developing skills to do love. Love is real, and truth is at the center.
apple
The forbidden fruit was supposed to be knowledge of good and evil. I see that as truth. Knowing the truth can be part of power. Here I’m taking a bite of truth.
Thank you to my spouse for doing truth with me and for your patient photography. It’s a good life.
People convince themselves that deception is the norm–everyone does it, so we have to do it. But they’re wrong. Not everyone is doing deceptive violence. People who tell the truth are harder to find, but we exist.
The problem is you would have to be vulnerable to tell the truth and do actual love. Most people don’t want to be vulnerable. They were taught by their dysfunctional families and cultures that vulnerable equals weak, and being weak is how to get trampled on.
But truth is the real strength. Please grow up and transcend your training.
The apple was pretty tasty and nourished me. I love you.
