“I wanna put my dick inside of you,” my spouse said to me. We were in bed, and he was very horny.
“Why do you wanna do that?” I asked. “To see if it still fits?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m going to put it in all the way, and see if it still fits. And I wanna rub it up against your clit.”
“Well, the clit is by the outside part. It’s not very far in there,” I said.
“Let’s see,” he said.
I sucked his dick, and we enjoyed it. I stood up at the foot of the bed, and he scootched down. Then I bent over to him, kissed his balls tenderly, sucked his dick a while, and stood up to stretch, smile, and feel my shoulders.
When I stood, he would look up at me in a dreamy way. Sometimes I would grab my breasts and jiggle them in an attempt to please him.
Then I would go down on him again. We did this cycle a few times. Felt great to be attentive and caring, to hold my spouse’s sexuality as sacred and give him a great deal of animal pleasure.
He was quiet, and I was surprised when he came. Usually his balls scrunch up when he’s close. My hands had been on his balls, waiting for the moment. This time, his dick got super hard and big in my mouth, and I tasted the salty fluid as he spurted it into the back of my mouth.
I accepted it gladly and felt the beginning part of his ejaculation, then the main part that he seems to like more. I was continuing to suck and lick his dick as he came.
Then I just rested for a while with his dick in my mouth as it relaxed. I kissed him and kissed his balls with a lot of love. I felt we had gone through a beautiful process.
“You were so quiet, when we had sex,” I told him later. We were in the car, on our way to run an errand. “Did you like it?”
“Oh yeah, I loved it!” he said.
“I get confused when you’re that quiet,” I said.
“I love it,” he said.
“Ok, good,” I said. “Yeah, I was afraid you could tell I was feeling anxious, so then you didn’t like it as much. But I only have sex with you if I want to. And I need to trust you, that you will let me know if it’s not ok. Just like you can trust me to let you know, if it’s not ok. Right?”
“Right,” he said.
Consent can be confusing when nuance is everywhere. We’ve known one another for a long time; we know each other very well. But we’re filled with Mystery, and we’re in motion. We’re both always changing. I never want to assume how he feels or what he wants.
When he tells me, “I want to be inside of you,” I feel loved. It’s what I want the most.
Thank you for doing relationship skillfully for so many years. We’re so fortunate that we both want to do that work. The care, honesty, and kindness we give one another creates the happy environment for sexual desire to continue.