evil

My spouse read that post executor about family pain and misogyny.  We talked about his favorite parts, like the part about evil.

“What did you like best about that post?” I asked.

“None of it,” he said.  “It was all terrible.”

“Right,” I said.  “Its terrible!  But it’s clear.”

“It’s very clear,” he said.

“Did you learn anything?” I asked.  “Did you already know all that?”

“I think I knew all that,” he said.

learning

“Well I learned some things, writing it!” I said.  “I’d never articulated the thing about evil–if you keep evil people in your life, you have to keep evil centered.”

“Right!” my spouse said.  “It’s like a Disney villain,” he said.  “The evil is at the center of the story.  It wouldn’t be a story, with people being all kind to each other.”

“Yeah,” I said.  “Evil has to be at the center, because you can’t turn your back on it.  If you do, it will stab you in the back.”

“Right,” my spouse said.

“Yuck!” I said.  “I don’t want a life centered on evil.”

jar

“What about the part about the jar?  Opening a jar, and getting something down from a high shelf is optional?  All you can trust is they might BBQ and get money from a job?” I asked my spouse.  “Was that part funny?”

“Yeah, that was a good part,” he said.

“Yeah, too true,” I said.  “That part about the relationship ending by his choice not mine was insightful too.  I was worthless to him, if I wasn’t giving him what he wanted.  There was no reason for him to make any effort, so it just died.  I was only worth talking to at all if he could use me.”

why I write

The purpose of writing is to share with others, connect, and make something that never existed before.  It’s a kind of art.  But I also like how writing can help me figure out what I really feel and think.  I dig a little deeper for the truth, based on who’s listening.

My mind is like a refuse heap, and I don’t always know what’s in there.  Writing makes me focus and sort through what I’ve got.  The words come to me as I figure out my truth, and I arrange them in the ways that make the most sense to me.  Hopefully they make sense to other people also, and we can come to new conclusions together.

Writing helps me understand what I need also.  I collaborate with my imagined audience, understanding reality.  Hello, audience.  Thank you for helping me have a reason to say what’s real.

windy

Thank you to my spouse for reading everything I write and talking about it with me, on a windy morning in the driveway.