why I like subbing

Hello, I wanted to explain more why I like subbing.  This pic of a sub is so beautiful too–I’ve been wanting to use it for something.  Please enjoy this listicle.

pleasure of subspace

Subspace can be addictive.  “Please tell me I’m a good slut,” I request of my spouse.  He tells me I’m a good slut a few times, and that’s a great start.

We might not plan a d/s situation, but sometimes we slip into it.  I want it, and he responds.  We start relating that way, and I’m flooded with bliss.  I don’t know what chemicals those are that my body is producing, but the high is beautiful.  It feels like God, being filled with golden light, all floaty.

relinquishing control / vacation into another role

Regular life is too stressful–so many decisions, and fear about making the wrong choice.  Subbing, it’s enjoyable to do what I’m told.

Yes, so different from regular life.  It’s a vacation from being myself.  Meditation feels like that also.  No need to think my usual thoughts, do my usual activities, or be my usual self.  It’s delicious, not to be Nest for a while, or to be an alternate Nest.


Subbing helps me relax.  It feels like time outside of time–like an alien abduction, but more fun.  Feels like it doesn’t count, somehow.  I’m doing the thing, but I’m not the usual me.

Feeling safe is restful.  Handing over my power in regular life is horrible.  But handing it over in bed is deliriously relaxing.


Healing is a big part of why I like subbing and why I like bdsm in general.  I enjoy reenacting my trauma in a safe way.  Not necessarily long stories of my trauma, but little pieces of it.

I was violated in horrible ways.  Might as well get something out of that–a thrill today based on harm before.

super defined

I know what to do, and my spouse does also.  Other partners would not know the type of sub I am, but my spouse has it down after ten years.  He knows how to dom me right–how far to push, how much pain I like, how far to take something.

I’m a pretty wimpy sub–I only like a little pain.  Just enough to put me into another dimension, not so much that I totally lose my mind.  We don’t have a ton of privacy.  I need to maintain some concept of the outside world.


What do you think of this listicle, why I like subbing?  It’s an accurate overview.  I like it, although it lacks depth.

My spouse forgot our safeword recently.  “Oh my god–seriously?” I asked.

“Yeah, sorry.  I forgot,” he said.

“Safeword,” I reminded him.

“Oh yeah, ok,” he said.

If I used it in bed, I’m sure he would remember.  Our non-verbal safeword we never forget.

By Nest

Curious, disabled Earth Goddess, telling the truth.

2 replies on “why I like subbing”

This was a good write-up! I loved trying to feel your experiences subbing and how it related to your trauma. The amount of trust you have with your spouse and how they work within your boundaries but also that it also involves letting go.

Would it be ok if I showed this around to my kinky friends? I know you like to remain somewhat private but this is, I think, very worth sharing.

yes, pls do share. thank you for enjoying it. yes, trust feels good with my spouse. we’re very fortunate. sharing is 100% encouraged! 🙂

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