“Tell me you want your dick sucked,” I told my spouse. We were in bed, naked and close, and his dick was in my hand.
“I want my dick sucked,” he said.
“Tell me you want your dick sucked,” I repeated.
“I want my dick sucked,” he repeated, with a little more emotion.
Feels good to witness his desire–I feel special and loved.
“Tell me you want your dick sucked really bad,” I said.
“I want my dick sucked really bad,” he said.
“Tell me you’re going to make me,” I said.
“I’m going to make you,” he said.
“Tell me you’re going to shove it down my throat,” I said.
“I’m going to shove it down your throat,” he said.
“Mmmm,” I said. Yes, we were getting to what I really wanted.
Topping from the bottom is my specialty. Thank you to my spouse for helping me enter altered states–that’s where we went later.
What art experiences do you need? Are you reading this for a random jolly? Do you know me personally and enjoy learning about my bed life, a secret you’re invited to? Are you a stranger, hungry to read a smart person’s truth including sex and sexual healing?
A lot of this stuff is not polite to talk about. I wouldn’t mention it in conversation with most people. Just wondering about your motivation.
I know my motivation–it helps me, to do life and process life by writing about it. Life and writing go hand in hand, for me. I need to live with attention and take risks. Then I need to write about what I do, to make meaning and understand reasons. In fact, I don’t understand how other people live without language healing in their lives. To me it’s like the shadow to the substance, the spirit to the form.
Healing can be without words, but a lot of healing is about reframing experiences. For example, if I can tell my body that teenage boys using me for my breasts was not about me being bad, it’s more possible to let go of the shame I feel from that part of my life. Language can be magic words. Naming things can transform them.
If I can heal and share about all that, maybe I can help others. So the writing has multi purposes, and I’m living as well as I can. Living without art making, I guess I could process life in my dreams. But art making, conversation, dreams, and bodily movement are all helpful.
My spouse’s dick is beautiful to perceive, as I suck it. Large and delicious in the mouth, it’s also pretty to the eye, as I pause and look upon it. Then when I write about his dick sucked and coming for me, I can perceive it again.
And you get a chance also, reader, to perceive this beautiful ritual of pleasure, trust, love, and building a life together.