“Where do you want me to lick you?” I asked.
“Everywhere!” he said.
“No way!” I said. “I’m not licking your sweaty armpits!”
“Oh, fun!” he said.
“No!” I said. We were smiling. “Well, maybe if you just took a shower, I would.”
We were cuddling in bed, pondering licks.
“What about your asshole? Do you want to be licked there?” I asked.
“No!” he said.
“Aw, why not? What if we used dental dams! It could be ok!” I said.
“Eh, maybe,” he said.
“Yeah, it’d be great! I would put lube on the inside–it would be nice sensation!”
“Ok!” he said.
“It would be different, at least,” I said. Sometimes I need different.
“True,” he said.
“Where do we get dental dams anyway?” I asked. I thought of amazon. “From a dentist?”
“Yeah!” my spouse said.
“Hey, dentist,” I said. “Do you have any….dental dams? Can I have one to lick my spouse’s asshole? I promise to give it back!” I giggled.
I always heard I was supposed to use a dental dam while going down on vulva-having person. Never have I even seen a dental dam in a bedroom in real life, let alone used one. Doing it with vulva-having people, I have not done safer. I guess I’ve lucked out, that I have no STIs.
I haven’t been tested for STIs for a long time. Maybe I should get tested. I’m afraid my midwife would judge me, because she knows my spouse and likes him. Maybe I could get tested on the sly from a Planned Parenthood.
Real talk about STIs: I have not done any types of sex with anyone other than my spouse, in the past 10 years, that could really give me an STI. But–ok, here’s the squicky part.
content warning: germ risk toilet stuff
I heard you’re not supposed to get illness from toilet seats. But I am very fat. I try not to use public restrooms, but sometimes I do. What if there was an issue?
I used to always squat, but my leg muscles are not really strong enough these years, especially if I need a minute. So I usually sit nowadays. If I need to learn forward to reach behind me in order to wipe, what if my vulva makes contact with the seat? I’m a fastidious person and careful. But could I get a germ that way?
Thin people might not consider the very fat or people with many types of disabilities, when making proclamations about the safety of toilet seats. If they lean forward, they might have less body, and less opportunity for contact with the seat.
That’s the real reason I would like to get tested. The more you know, etc.
STI having people are my people. One of my close friends has herpes, and I love her. I follow an instagram that mentions herpes often and has lovely memes. It’s called safe.slut.
The person who does safe.slut has a lot in common with me emotionally, so I like learning emotional truths that are empowering. My family life taught me some bad habits. Safe.slut ideas help me counter old impulses to sacrifice my self and push down my own needs.
This is a good example too. Don’t stay attached to people who are hurtful–you have many tools in your toolbox / toys in your toybox.
This is lovely too. Fat liberation every day!