“What could we do, to make it easier for you to pee?” I asked my spouse.
It was early morning, and we were talking about health. I was proud of myself. We were on a road trip, and I kept drinking water even though it meant lots of stops to pee.
“Long time ago, I used to try not to drink water, on long trips. For fewer stops. I’m really glad I don’t do that anymore,” I said. I’d get dehydrated, and it was bad for me.
Sunshine, exercise, and drinking more water are my solutions to most every health issue. I wish they worked for everything. Pleasure, garlic, and flowers are good too.
“Yeah, I’m glad,” my spouse said.
ocd
My spouse has trouble peeing sometimes because of ocd. Well, he has an ocd diagnosis, but he’s been kicked out of ocd programs for being too different.
So yeah, officially he has ocd. It’s a thorny flower in the bouquet of difficulties that disable him. But actually I don’t think he has ocd at all. He’s not counting light switch flicks or compulsing about whether the stove is on. His ocd stuff is mostly about contamination–dishes, laundry, bathroom–managing physical objects, and getting out the door.
I think it’s all autism! Yeah, I’m going to boldly come out and say that. The autism–why not. That would explain a Lot. Rigidity, repetitive behaviors. Why he’s not like the other ocd people, social differences, lotsa quirks. He has a kid with autism, and a lovely spouse! Autistic people can find ourselves together, right? It happens.
Whatever name we give these difficulties, we live with them. To pee is a stressor, for my spouse, and it’s not good if he starts avoiding it, and health issues come up.
fairies
“Oh! I have an idea!” I said, laughing. “We could get some fairies. Probably like eight fairies. They could live in the bathroom. When you need to pee, they unzip your pants for you, pull down your chonies, take our your dick, hold it as you pee, put it back in your chonies, push the flush lever for you… Hahaha! Wouldn’t that be perfect!”
My spouse had a funny look on his face. He really liked this idea.
“A few of them would have to hold your dick as you pee, since it’s so heavy,” I said.
He laughed.
“The last fairy who zipped your pants would give a lil pat-pat-pat to your dick area,” I added.
We giggled a lot.
“What do you think? Is that an inappropriate fantasy?” I asked,
“That’s a great fantasy!” he said, smiling.
I laughed some more. “Sorry–I asked you how we could make it easier for you to pee, then answered the question for you. What ideas do you have?” I asked.
“Any idea I was starting to form is totally gone now,” he said.
fairy colors
“Did you imagine it?” I asked “What color were your fairies?”
“Blue, purple, and green,” he said.
“Me too! But pink too. Definitely pink.”
how to pee
It has to do with laundry, bathroom cleaning, needing to wash his hands. He washes his hands so much, they get roughly dry and sometimes cracked.
Have you had this problem before? Please let me know if you have ideas of how to make peeing easier, for ocd pee-avoiders, or autistic pee avoiders. Thank you.
