smut theory


“Hey, guess what I did while you were gone?” I asked my spouse.

“What?” he asked.

“Masturbated,” I said.

“Oh, cool,” my spouse said.

“And I recorded it,” I said.

“Wow!” he said.

“Yeah!  What do you think of that?”

“Sounds good!” he said.

“I’d been wanting to for a long time.  You wanna hear it?” I asked.

“Yeah!” he said.  He paused.  “I like it live too.”

We smiled.  Yes, I can masturbate for him any time.  But something about the recording, making it into an artifact, was appealing.  Not an actual experience, but more of an evidence.  Like art, but not very artful.


“Are you jealous, I masturbated without you?” I asked.

“No,” he said.

He never says he’s jealous–he has no problem with me jillin’ off without him.

“Good,” I said.  “I don’t think it means you’re missing out.  I think sex is like, the more the better.  Better to keep the pump primed.  Or keep the equipment lubricated, or something.”

“Right,” he said.

I was thinking about a friend who lost interest in sex.  She said she learned that an important part of keeping the libido functioning was “use it or lose it.”  So probably the more I masturbate the better, for me and for my spouse also.  I would like to keep having sex when I’m an elder, for my whole life.


“This is my idea,” I said.  “I think you should take off all your clothes and lie in bed with me, and listen to the recording I made, while beating off, and let me watch.  Then once you know how it goes, you should listen again, and time it so you come while I’m coming in the recording.”

He got a boner just from this conversation.  Yes, he liked the idea.

So he took off all his clothes, and we went to bed.  Strangely, I was eating a big chocolate chip cookie when he started listening to the recording and beating off.  There was something different about the tone of our sexual situation–the recording was one layer of remove, which changed the intimacy.

kind partner

He liked it–he really liked the part where I come.  He’s been present for thousands of my orgasms, yet still gets a thrill.  What a kind partner.

Then he listened a second time.  “I want to put my dick inside you,” he said, a bit growley.

“Ok,” I said.  “Please do.”  He climbed onto me, quietly fucked me, and ejaculated into my body, which was a wonderful option.  I felt close to him, tender, and so glad he got off on the recording of my jillin’.

great idea

The whole thing was a great idea.  I submitted my soundfile to and poked around what they have there, sex sounds.  I listened to around 20 different recordings.  Some are porny like bad acting, but some are more like field recordings.  Pretty amazing!

There’s some straightforward stuff and more artful.  This one of the dude having sex with two girlfriends over a hiphop beat is a great idea, and I find it hot.  I like the long, weird sounds that are sort of like the sounds of elephant seals.  But I wish the beat was better!  It’s insipid!

There’s a recording of a blowjob that I don’t even know how to feel about.  Almost clinical?  Half arousing, half yuckie?  I heard it once alone, then played it for my spouse.  He liked it more than I did.

Mine is so much more subtle than the other sexy files on the site, quiet.  But if you would like to hear, they finally moderated it and it’s up: jillin.

By Nest

Curious, disabled Earth Goddess, telling the truth.

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