pretty naked

I felt pretty naked, yesterday morning.  Thank you to my spouse for the pic.  My shoulders are good to grab–my ass is wide and trustworthy.  My back is strong, and I’m substantial.

After the pic, he took off his clothes and made love with me.  The beginning was extraordinarily cuddly and sweet, with soft kisses and giggles.

Then I asked for it slow, and he climbed onto me, slid his erection into my cunt, and fucked me just how I like it.  Felt thorough.  My fuck-needs were met, though I didn’t come.

I was ovulating–the copious clear fluid was present.  It’s become more obvious over the years.  I’m probably toward the end of my fertility, so I could be releasing two eggs at once.  He delivered a full load of semen, right up against my cervix.  Hopefully his vasectomy is still good and I will not conceive.

Ever grateful that my spouse got a vasectomy at the beginning of our relationship.  I feared the tubal ligation surgery, and abortion is a procedure I’d rather avoid also, though I have all respect for abortion-ers.

substantial

Thank you for appreciating my fat, pretty naked body.  I’m valid at all times.  Naked, clothed, however I’m performing gender, whatever feeling state I’m in.  However much pain I’m in, and whatever I can and can’t do.  However fat I may be at this time.

Feels great to settle into that valid feeling, unconditionally ok.  Lately when I’m going to sleep, cuddling myself, I say some really nice things to me.  Last night I was telling myself, “I will always be here for you, no matter what.”  I was making sweet promises to myself, promising unconditional love and support.  Felt great, the self-support I’ve been working toward.

Definitely I’ve abandoned myself in the past.  And for many years I had no idea how to be there for myself.

dance

I met someone who said she no longer danced because she gained weight and thought she was too fat.  I comforted her that her body was valid and anyone can dance.  Even with part of your body.  Even with just your eyes.

“Really I think the fatter you are, the better, with more to dance with,” I confided in my spouse afterward.  Not to criticize thin people.  I love all people with all bodies.  But fat dancing is really my favorite.

We had sex again in the evening.  It’s good to rest, connect, love ourselves, and love one another.  I will always be crazy and disabled, but I’m blessed to know how to be happy.