We’d had a lot of conflict–the conflict was partly about language. It definitely was conveyed in language. I was almost out of energy, nearing the end of my day, and wanted to figure out what was best for my spouse, so I made a list.
“Ok, can I tell you some ideas I have, for options of what we could do?” I asked.
“Yes. Please do,” he said.
“Ok, the first idea is–we go to bed, with no clothes on, and I comfort you. I could touch your back, cuddle you. Just try to help you feel better.” He’d been upset with stress for hours, that day. “We could have sex or not have sex. Super chill, low language or no language.”
“Ok,” he said.
“Another idea is we watch the second half of that movie. I never saw the second half.”
“Mmm hmm,” he said.
“Another idea is we do separate things, like you could work on a project while I rest. And then you come visit me in about an hour to check in.”
“Ok,” he said.
“Another idea is I make something to eat. Or we could go out. But I think it’s just too hot. Mmm, I think that’s my ideas, really. Does any of that sound good?”
“That all sounds good,” he said.
“Great. Well, we can’t do all of those. Which one sounds best to you?”
“The first one,” he said.
“Ok!” I said, happy. “I need to drink some water, brush my teeth, and settle in. Do you want to meet me there in ten minutes?”
It was fun to put it like–I’m here to help you feel better. My needs are low, right now. I’m happy to give.
It was good cuddle with low expectations but everything I needed. I whispered to him a few silly stories, despite the idea of low or no language. I touched his naked back and rubbed my tits on him, kissed his cheek and pet his hair. Then I touched his thighs then balls. The feeling was very relaxed, and then we did have sex.
How pretty he is, fucking me–how much I love him. Then he rubbed my cunt, and I came on his hand. The experience was stress relieving and helped me return to baseline. I like trusting him.
This post is about the list. It can be fun to think of options–I love choices! To give my spouse options when they’re at a loss–the list itself was a gift, because he couldn’t have thought of those things on his own.