new vibrator

“Guess what this is?” I asked my spouse.  My new vibrator arrived in the mail yesterday.  It was wrapped in pink tissue paper.

“Soap?” he asked.

I guess the sacred bundle was that size.  “No, but…it will make me clean!” I said.  Not sure how that made sense.  But he realized from my tone, it must be my new vibrator.

I unwrapped it and slipped it out of its box and soft sleeve.  It’s blue and has two tips.  It’s the Duet Flex by Crave.

I slipped my finger between the two tips.  “What do you think goes here?” I asked my spouse with a smile.  Something about the whole experience had me feeling bratty.

He was on his way out to an appointment.  I thought I would masturbate the whole time he was gone!  But I looked at the instructional flier and plugged it in to my laptop usb port to charge.

expensive

I texted a couple friends to exclaim about my new fancy vibrator.  It cost $109, and ten bucks shipping.  “I’ve never spent this much on a vibrator in my life,” I thought.  But that wasn’t saying much.  The vibrators I’ve known have been simple, cheap, and not that exciting.

Well, except for that magic wand, which I’d heard touted as the best, but it was not for me at all–too brutal.  My cunt is subtle.

public vibrator

The whole way I heard about this company and this particular type of vibrator was through instagram.  I’m friends there with a person who is a sexpert, and she wears a vibrator on a necklace.  So it’s activism–people say, “What a pretty necklace!”

She says, “Thank you!  It’s a vibrator.”

The person says, “What?  It’s a…what?  You mean like…?”  So they can have a conversation about sex, sex toys, how we touch our own bodies with our hands, which can easily get clean.  Why do we think vibrators aren’t clean?  And all the conversations you can have about that.

adverts

But it’s product placement!  I don’t know how much my instagram friend is getting paid, to wear this necklace, post pics online, and mention the company.  But it’s word of mouth marketing, product placement, and manipulative.

You know me–I’m an anarchist, and I don’t like money or selling things or how advertising tries to make people feel bad about themselves, in order to get money out of us.  There’s a lot of media I don’t engage, partly so I can avoid the advertising.

But places like instagram, I see a lot of material that’s marketing.  A smart person who is fat and does fat fitness, I love her and her ideas!  But when it comes down to it, all the cool ideas and pretty pics of her gorgeous fat body are an ad.  She’s trying to get me to enroll in her online fitness class, donate to her patreon, and basically give her money.

She is a product herself, kind of.  Her image and what she represents.  All that I love about her, that I see on instagram, is in service of her bank account.  Friendship, idea exchange, fun, learning, and emotional support can happen, but only in service to the dollar.

I know we live in capitalism now, and most people need to pay rent, buy food and car insurance, wifi, clothes, books, computers… vibrators.  I bought this blue one, so the advertising worked.

vibrators

I was intrigued by the idea of a jewelry item that’s also a vibrator, so I went to the website and was looking around.  What about me–would I like a jewelry vibrator?  And I could talk about sex with people often?  Would I be comfortable doing that?

That’s the direction I want to move.  I considered the jewelry vibrator.  The design looks really pokey, to me, and thin.  The metal looks cold.  It just doesn’t look like something I want to put on my cunt for sexual pleasure.

It looks like I would be trying to masturbate with a vibrating nail.  Yikes!  Hardcore!  The instagram friend I have who wears on is a really dommy lady.  Maybe masturbating with a vibrating nail works for her, but I am a softer, cuddlier person.

Yesterday afternoon I tried out the new blue vibrator.  It’s lovely, and I will write a review soon.

selling ideas

I don’t make money off this blog, my instagram, twitter, tumblr, or anything really.  But I want people to hear my ideas and think a new thought, have a new feeling maybe.  Feed themselves with a helpful notion.

There’s nothing you can buy from me, that I can think of.  If we got together in person, I guess you could buy me lunch.

Money is not what I’m looking for.  I want friendship, kindness, consideration, mutual support, touch, art, conversation, ideas–long term, whole-enchilada love.  Let me know if you’d like to create that.