I don’t usually hear podcasts, but this morning I listened to this episode of Psych and the City. It’s called Looks Can Be Deceiving: Equity in Sexuality and Disability. It’s an interview with the co-founders of Disability and Sexuality Access Network. They are Caz Killjoy and Amber DiPietra.
I liked this podcast interview for the good topics addressed. Lack of accessibility on university campuses–the things that are supposed to be in place, not being in place, like broken elevators and blocked ramps. That’s important. Often administrators think they’ve done the official required thing, but it’s actually not functional; the good intention doesn’t matter.
sexuality is a human right
It’s also super important, how people living in nursing homes in the US are denied sexuality. Wow, it baffles me how disabled people as well as seniors and fat people are often assumed not to have sexual desires, and our needs don’t matter. Or it’s flat out eugenics, the idea that disabled people should not have sex, because of the possibility of having disabled kids.
Sexual pleasure is a human right. Privacy to masturbate, access to porn, access to partnership and sexwork are all basic. The people who run nursing homes and want to keep things easier for themselves are denying a whole chunk of life, to the people who live there.
That is not helping elders and disabled people have good lives, happy and as well as possible. A nursing home should not be a holding tank before death, for people deemed worthless. Quality of life suffers so much, when sexuality is denied. It’s inhumane.
I wish I could take this on as a life project, because removing disabled people and elders from the table of humanity is bullshit, and denying sexuality is bullshit. The mostly young and middle aged people who make decisions about what happens in nursing homes disregard disabled people and elders as complete humans.
BDSM and dating
I also liked hearing about BDSM as a helpful thing to do, regarding chronic pain. BDSM is a powerful force in my life, and the way I use it to heal my own trauma has changed everything, for me. I love knowing about multiple uses for it. What an amazing modality.
Dating as a disabled person was great to hear about too. I don’t date–I tend to fall in love with my friends. So dating is mostly mysterious to me. I like learning about what dating is and how communication works, in that realm, when disability is part of the experience. Fetish, helper people, and when to disclose are fascinating topics.
Please consider listening to Looks Can Be Deceiving and sharing these ideas and resources. DASAN has brought such good to my life, in a short time. Love to the brave people, speaking truth and doing this important work for justice.