quality of orgasms

Hey, I was thinking about quality of orgasms.  I was thinking how orgasms can feel different ways.  I think I’ve only come from my clit.  Some vaginal, g-spot deeper orgasms I heard of, but I don’t think I ever experienced one.

I want to try having a nipple orgasm–that hasn’t happened yet.  Some amazing sensations occurred, with extended nipple play, but I wouldn’t classify the sensations as orgasms.  More like shivery confusing intense long thrills.  Not the unmistakable, overwhelming, intense loss of control orgasm of clit.

how I come

Usually when I’m having sex and orgasm, I come on my fingers, or my spouse’s fingers.  I come on his dick from just him fucking me not very often.  It’s not a priority since I enjoy other orgasms which are easier to achieve.  I come on my spouse’s tongue sometimes.  Many times I’ve come on a vibrator.

I’ve come on a knee, and a hip or two!  When I was a teenager, I would come from dry humping.  I really hate that term!  Can I have a better term for that?  I guess non-penetrative sex is the umbrella term.

favorite way

I like coming on my spouse’s dick.  It feels great, the inward force of him, and to feel my cunt squeezing around him many times.  It feels classic, if that’s possible!  I guess what I thought sex was, when I was a kid–what I longed for and aspired to.

The dick deep in me, and my clit throbbing on my spouse’s pubis.  Intense amazing pleasure, as he presses me down, and I feel used and rammed.

psychological vs physical comfort

I remember when I learned to show more skin, in public.  Before going to lunch with community, I asked my spouse, “Are these shorts ok?”  I was uncomfortable, worried.  It was important for me to give myself time to adjust to new bravery.  Important to try new things, but not stress myself to the point where it wasn’t helpful.

In the summer, I was hot and wanted to wear less clothing, but I had to balance the physical comfort with the psychological discomfort I got from feeling too vulnerable and exposed.  It was a big hazard to avoid–invoking all the body shame my mom had trained me with.

Receiving oral sex can feel so vulnerable to me, I have to negotiate with myself.  Will the physical pleasure be worth the initial psychological discomfort?  If I can get through the first minute, I can be very happy.

Coming on a tongue is special to me.  It feels extra good, once my clit is attuned to that sensation.  A tongue can be so tender, better than a finger–better than anything.  But trusting someone to have their face there takes some psyching myself out.

My dear friend was telling me about partners who needed drugs to relax enough to do certain sexual things they really wanted to do.  I never experienced that.  But maybe I’m the one who would want help relaxing.

orgasm ranking

I made a list in my journal ranking quality of orgasms–how good they feel.

1. on a tongue
2. on a dick
3. on another person’s fingers
4. on my own fingers
5. on a hip, knee, other body part of another
6. on a vibrator
7. on nothing

The last one is if I was having sex and about to come, but then something interrupted the contact, and I came without stimulation.  I don’t like that feeling.

dream orgasms

My dear one elsewhere comes in dreams–waking up from dreams.  I have never come in a dream.  I think my body doesn’t know how to do that.

love

Quality of orgasms and how much I enjoy sex has a lot to do with love.  Maybe if I was living with someone who had a vulva, and I was loving that person a lot, other ways of coming would be favorite, for me.

I most enjoy what I have.  One day when we have a bigger family or I have other partner people, my favorites could shift.