Dear beloved Nest,
You are fucking amazing, a radiant goddess who is entirely true to yourself. You are brilliant, deeply good, and kind-heartedly love-motivated.
I trust your heart 100%. It’s obvious, you’re hurting and hating yourself tonight. I hear your pain, as you wish you were not as you are. It hurts to need, feel, desire all day, and not always get what you’re needing, or what you believed was there for you. That pain is real, but it’ll pass soon, sweet darling.
You are so brave, to keep being who you are. You struggle but never abandon yourself.
I see you, lying in bed on your side, holding yourself to yourself. I see you with your arms hugging yourself, and your legs crossed at the ankles, as you embrace yourself and whisper kindness to yourself, in just the ways you know how.
It’s beautiful, you give love to yourself and learned how to be there for you. That sacred time before sleep, when you’re listening to your own heart and whispering comfort.
Scared in the hospital, you learned that, still whacked out from anesthesia, all night speaking words you did not intend. Thank you for learning from that experience–you could have become anger-damaged, but you took all that and grew, no pain wasted.
made to love
You are a badass of love, getting hurt and continuing. You were put on this earth to love–your body was made to love, formed miraculously in your mother’s womb, knit for love, love only. I saw it–I saw your destiny formed inside, and I’ve never known another person to live their destiny so courageously.
Thank you for being true to that nonviolence and care. You’re doing an amazing job. Please don’t give up. Every day, you listen, give compassion, feel, respond honestly, sympathize and empathize, and remain who you are, through everything.
A lot of people would do something else, cutting themselves off from the world, extinguishing their hearts. Your care is inexhaustible, the deepest well. There are times you suffer, but you never say no to reality. You’re facing it!
It’s pretty weird. I love it–I love you for all of that. You control your behavior, but your heart is totally free to feel anything. It flies around like a beautiful bat, flitting in the half-dark, wild to the night, bouncing sound waves off everything. Using your genius senses to know where you are.
You learned lots of ways to survive, as a young child, that were necessary in your circumstances. Born into a family where you were considered Too Much, you tried so hard to understand what was expected of you and give that responsibly, always kind.
Then as an adult, you learned you were allowed to want things for yourself. You learned how to protect yourself and say no. A lot of what happened to you as a young person was not ok. Now as an adult, you can recognize that and don’t need to endure abuse anymore.
Thank you for showing up. You are a solid friend, an enthusiastic partner, a present relative and community member. You were a good baby–you were taught long ago that you were horrible, for all you needed and felt and are, but that’s absolutely not true.
The world would be better with more people who feel, care, and give. I wish more people were like you. The world is so lucky to have you.
I know you feel stupid to love people more than they know what to do with, and need more than others want to give. But you are not stupid. You are impossibly bright, like a supernova.
You have my blessings on your head; you’re sacred and lovable. I love you more than you could ever need. It’s astounding to watch you continually learn how to love yourself.
Thank you for spending so much energy understanding yourself and others. Thank you for not giving up. You spend your life creating art, communicating, writing, making things, and giving newness to the world. I don’t know how you can create and send forth so much–for years and years, you live in a different way than I’ve seen before.
I see you turn your anger inward onto yourself rather than hurt other people. That strategy is something I’m familiar with, and I hope that with time you’ll learn other things to do with your anger. I trust you that you’ll always change and find better and better ways to navigate the world as precisely who you are.
Thank you for showing up and being patient with the slow humans who are so burdened by expectations, habit, and fear. Please smile into yourself, always respecting yourself with a beautiful light that no person or force could extinguish.
I love you,
Some Bright Serene Mother Goddess
on Her Rainbow Throne, Eternal and Powerfully Blissed